My beautiful sister, Jori, who died in November, 2008 left behind 2 gorgeous children. My nephews (now 9 and 11) have been the centerpiece in my family's life for about a decade. Now that I have a family of my own, that 'circle' has grown, but I have always had an extraordinary relationship with 'the boys'. Jori's ex-husband (Eric) was an alcoholic and (expecially towards the end) tormented Jori with verbal abuse.
After Jori died, my parents obtained custody (with the blessing of Eric) of the kids. For about 16 months there was NO communication from Eric. We knew he was 'in a bad place', we knew he was in and out of jail (simply for missing court appearances) and re-hab. About 8-10 weeks ago, Eric re-surfaced. Though he looked unhealthy (very yellow), he was sober and he was trying. He began attending the kids' baseball games and going to lunch (my nephews demanded that my parents be present). Just last week, the boys finally decided that they would be 'willing' to go to dinner alone with their father.
Well . . . last Wednesday, Eric was found dead in his home (liver failure). The funeral was yesterday. The first thing my oldest nephew asked is, "Does this mean we're orphans now?". This surreal 'episode of life' just doesn't seem to want to end. These poor boys, it's just so sad. I have had a burning anger for some time, so this event brought up so many mixed emotions for me. I've known Eric's sister for over 30 years so I attended the wake and funeral; for their family and 'for the boys'.
I guess it really boils down to the fact that I'm angry. I know it sounds so harsh and unfeeling but I KNOW that had Eric died 2 years ao, my sister would still be alive today. Jori did not commit suicide but his constant belittling and tormenting led her to make decisions that she otherwise would not have made . . . he truly made her crazy.
I guess I'm babbling, but it's nice to have a place to do it. Thanks.