My Sweet little Mamaw

[mamawsgirl76]

Hi my name is April. I recently lost my Mamaw I know when I say Mamaw I really mean Mama. My Grandparents raised me my whole life, the only place I ever had a bedroom and constant love and support.  My Mamaw got sick about 5 years ago and everytime she would pull out of the sickness with a vengence. The last time I was not so lucky. About 4 months ago she started having alot of pain so we went to the Dr and he said due to her scoliosis and her hump in her back it was pressing on her lungs and cutting her air off. The Dr gave her pain meds and my Mamaw with all her pain never took pain meds so I knew this time it was different. She started telling us all how much she loved us and was proud of us, and that she was so ready to go to Heaven that it is what she lived her life for. I always was the one who didnt want to have these talks with her but I started listening to all she wanted to say. My Mamaw was my best friend from the day I was born. On July 2nd She passed away we were all with her in the room when God came for her. Needless to say I am completely devastated. I cry every day and long to hear her voice. The pain is more than i could have ever imagined. I feel so lost without her she was my everything. I just need some sort of support I guess im looking for the support that always came from her. I have lost other loved ones and it was hard and devastating all at the same time, but this time its different I feel like I died that day she did. I feel wrong if I do get a moment of happiness, I dont want to smile, or laugh. I dont know where to go from here or how to go really. Dont get me wrong I am so happy that my Mamaw is in Heaven because I know that is what she wanted, but it doesnt help with my pain. Thanks For the site I hope and pray it will help me with this because I just really need some type of help. Thanks for reading and God Bless You All.

[browneyedgirl]

Dear Mamawasgirl76 ~

I am so sorry for the lost of your mamawa

Welcome to webhealing, I am sorry you have to be on this joureny with us.  You will find a comforting, supportive word here when you need it.

I know it's easy to feel some guilt when you smile or laugh after a loss, but I hope with time you will be able to smile again, she would want that.

Please take care of yourself and come back and let us know how you are doing.

[mamawsgirl76]

Thank you Browneyedgirl. I hope to gain alot from this site.

[Terry]

Hi April,

I'm so sorry your Mamaw has died. Your loss is so recent you truly have my heart. Talking about her and feeling everything and 'when' you feel it will help a little. Because the more we talk about them and especially in the beginning, the more real it becomes and the grieving process can begin in a healthy manner.

Feel 'good' when a moment of happiness comes your way. Laugh when there's something to laugh about. There is nothing wrong in enjoying anything. It doesn't mean you loved her any less.

Just remember she is with you. Love does not die.

Come back and tell us more about your Mamaw when you are able. There is always someone here to listen.

(((((((((((((April)))))))))))))

My love,
Terry

[mamawsgirl76]

Thank you Terry for your concern and kind words. I really appreciate all you said. It means the world to me.
Love and Peace,
April