Author Topic: Good News  (Read 1170 times)

Rebecca

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Good News
« on: July 01, 2010, 04:11:39 AM »
We just learned that our daughter is 4 month preg. with her first child.  I always wanted a grandchild.  I remember almost everything about when my children were born and babies.  Ok, so all of you know where I am going here.  I was so happy and so dam sad all at the same time.  When Jason was born it was as if every dream I ever had was fulfilled.  I always wanted children.  I was pregnant six times and gave birth to to live births.  Amongst those miscarriages was one stillborn on July 6th...I was never allowed to see him and he was buried without me.  I was not allowed or I should say it was strongly suggested that I not see Jason as he had died about 3 days before we found him and I listened.  Any of you Mom's who have experienced what we are going through, losing one child and then having another have a baby, how did you deal with it.  I never want to make my daughter's happiness not be mine but I know how much Jason loved children and he would have been over the top with a niece or nephew.  Please give me some sage advice.  I walk around all the time with my mask on so now it is thicker  for I don't want my daughter to see outward signs of sadness on me.  I never did and I really have tried not to show when anything hurt that she was involved in.  Any advice would be appreciated
Rebecca Jason's Mom

Jeanneb

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Re: Good News
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2010, 06:14:40 AM »
Rebecca,

Congrats on the great news!!  I am fast approaching Philip's 7th angel date, so I understand how much you miss Jason...  I lost 2 before I had my 3 and Philip was our baby... with that said I also have had 4 grandkids born since he passed.

My advice is be in the moment.  We can't change what has happened we have to learn to live with it.  It isn't easy but let yourself enjoy, relish this time... you really don't want to miss a moment of this and let yourself be happy with this wonderful news.  It is something you have always dreamed of... hold on to it and ride this wave. 

I see a little of Philip in all of my grandkids and I let that warm me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet.  Being a grandparent is just so different... you get to sit back and just watch this little person without all the day to day responsibility.   Get yourself a new video camera and document every moment.  Immerse yourself in this... watching your daughter's belly grow with this little precious gift... yes a gift for all of you.  There will be moments when you are sad and wish Jason was here but he is... he is always with you and he will be there to watch over this precious one in ways that you can't imagine.

My oldest granddaughter will soon be 4 and she is such a hoot... she just spent a week with us and then there are her twin brother and sister who are 2... when they come through that door and yell "NANA" and run to my arms... I can't tell you how good that feels.

I miss Philip and will always miss him but you can let yourself enjoy and be happy again... you have been presented a door.... open it and let yourself walk through....  you really don't want to miss a single moment.

Love,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever

falcon

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Re: Good News
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2010, 06:59:46 AM »
I really have no advice , i feel your pain & so understand. But I will tell you my 4 grandchildren r the only thing in life that brings me joy. They so are like their DAD in so many ways , it hurts bad at sports ect hes not there watching, but i keep telling myself he is , as will JASON , ENJOY THE MOMENT . I know easier said then done , but when you see that lil one you will see JASON ! HUGS GRANDMA