Author Topic: Back after a year away  (Read 3281 times)

waterdragon

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 28
    • View Profile
Back after a year away
« on: June 09, 2010, 04:03:38 AM »
Hi All
I am back at this wonderful website in need of an arena to debrief and possibly help anyone else by sharing our feelings and offering support.
At the moment I need to just download my feelings.
I lost my darling mum two years ago this week. I found this website really supportive and it helped me deal with my loss. I have been absent due to many life changes that have come my way in the last 18months.
The many changes have involved me having to care for my aged uncle and aunt through two years of serious illness for them both. They have no children and I am their only living relative. Depsite all this they don't seem to ever ask how I am.. they never mention my mother (my aunt's sister). My mum's passing anniversary has gone unmentioned. I feel very alone in my grief, despite being so involved in their lives. I am not suicidal but I do see death as a release. I have no intention to do myself harm but pain of never having mum to talk to means at times I feel very very alone in this world. I have a husband, he is very kind but he doesn't understand my aloneness as he has a large family, siblings still alive..(my brother passed away twenty years ago, i still miss him too). Anyhow. I have returned to ease the pain that is ever present.

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: Back after a year away
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2010, 06:17:35 AM »
Hi waterdragon,

Welcome back! I'm so sorry to hear of the loneliness, that achy, empty feeling that seems to creep up on us and, at times take hold and with a vengeance. I know you miss you Mum terribly. It's never the same when someone we love so deeply is gone from our lives.

I can relate to your feeling alone in your grief. I have accepted that this is 'my grief' as no one else understands what it takes to just get through a day, sometimes. We are all in pain, and in that respect we are all the same, and then we are very different, as we all grieve very different.
So, please know that I understand and you have my heart.

((((((((waterdragon))))))))

Much love,
Terry

 

to young to be a widow

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 137
    • View Profile
Re: Back after a year away
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2010, 11:15:10 AM »
hello waterdragon,

sorry to hear about loss of your mum--and i know the pain you are experiencing--have you tried talking to your anut and uncle about her?   i know the loneliness for i have no one nearby--i really dont have any answers for you to help you cope through this --since my grieve is still in the first stage--but i have found that the people here do care and try help as much as possible

for i just found this site not to long ago myself and i am thankful for that--after losing my wonderful husband suddenly and unexpectedly on may 8th--i am so lost without him--we were only able to have 1 child together who died 2 hours after his birth--so i am also alone

i dont know as to how much comfort i can be to you but i will try

to young to be a widow
In memory of my loving husband Fred 4-28-62--5-8-2010

waterdragon

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 28
    • View Profile
Re: Back after a year away
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2010, 12:24:08 AM »
Thank you so much for your support. Today is a tiny bit better. I had a better night's sleep. Alas talking to my aunty would do no good. I have tried but she is now in a nursing home after a serious bout of depression. She isn't able to discuss anything about her feelings
I do feel very much for you in your loss of both your husband on May 8th and your very young infant. I hope you find sanctuary at this site too.
We are all here for each other and that does help me greatly. Just knowing my feelings are similar to others makes me feel more connected.
I have no clever words for you in your loss but I am sending you a lot of love and care and hope you find some peace.
Thank you for replying to my post and being interested.. it does help.
((((((((hugs to you)))))))))
waterdragon

waterdragon

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 28
    • View Profile
Re: Back after a year away
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2010, 12:29:53 AM »
Hi waterdragon,

Welcome back! I'm so sorry to hear of the loneliness, that achy, empty feeling that seems to creep up on us and, at times take hold and with a vengeance. I know you miss you Mum terribly. It's never the same when someone we love so deeply is gone from our lives.

I can relate to your feeling alone in your grief. I have accepted that this is 'my grief' as no one else understands what it takes to just get through a day, sometimes. We are all in pain, and in that respect we are all the same, and then we are very different, as we all grieve very different.
So, please know that I understand and you have my heart.

((((((((waterdragon))))))))

Much love,
Terry

Thank you so much for your concern Terry.
I am feeling a lot better thanks to your concern and advice
Thanks for the hugs too. Your comment that this is 'my grief' was enlightening. I am able to accept the feeling of aloneness much better from understanding this is MY grief. No-one else can bear it for me. (((hugs back to you too))))

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: Back after a year away
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2010, 08:42:52 PM »
((((((((waterdragon))))))))

You're very welcome! I'm so glad I could help!

The main board/all the boards have been a little slow but hold on because it will get busy soon and you'll find that there will be many postings that you can relate to, and visa versa. I know you remember it being busier.

Thanks so much for the hugs! I can always use them! And, I'll keep them coming, too!:)

My love,
Terry

jaxsaint

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 83
    • View Profile
Re: Back after a year away
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2010, 03:59:02 PM »
Waterdragon,

I know people expect us to just stop thinking about it as time goes by.  I see that already and it isn't even 3 months.  I've delt with mental illness in the past and understand how tenuous the situation can be.  I'm glad you can take refuge here.

Jaxsaint