Author Topic: New member not sure where to start  (Read 3859 times)

weeping willow

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New member not sure where to start
« on: January 25, 2011, 04:24:41 AM »
My story begins at the end of September my ex partner fell tragically to his death, he was 27, although we parted under bad circumstances years ago part of me feels responsible.My mother in law passed 6 days later she had a gruelling six month battle with cancer, my partner was devastated and although i did my best to be suportive I did and still feel helpless. Lastly my aunt passed 18 days later she was 54. It was very sudden she was taken ill on my sons 4th birthday and transferred to an ICU. The doctors assured me she would make a full recovery and 2 days later I held her hand as she passed away.
My aunt was like a mum to me I saw her every second day and we spoke everyday. I am finding it difficult to cope and I feel so angry. My son was also very close to my aunt and He has suffered at her passing though he seems to be getting better now. I dont feel I can talk to my partner as he is grieving for his mum. I just feel so alone and that the daark clouds wont ever lift. Im 24 and I just feel like giving up and not bothering to get out of bed, My kids are my only postive just now. Everything else just seems like a chore. My friends have all been pushed away as I feel all I do is moan about losing these people. noone needs to constantly hear it, so I apologise that Im venting on here instead.

Terry

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Re: New member not sure where to start
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2011, 11:23:43 AM »
Hi weeping willow,

I'm sorry to hear of your great losses and thank you for sharing your story with us. I can understand you're feeling alienated, especially around those who have not experienced great loss yet and I know how difficult it can be to relate to others and have others relate to you.

Welcome to our Webhealing family where you can share all of your feelings of sadness, anger, loneliness etc. and we understand. We're all here for the same reasons.

"Im 24 and I just feel like giving up and not bothering to get out of bed, My kids are my only postive just now. Everything else just seems like a chore."

Then I would concentrate on your precious children. It's hopeful to hear that you find your children a positive and not a chore. You sound very 'together' and mature for one so young. Your children are fortunate to have you for their Momma!

Take it all, one day at a time and know we're here for you and we care. Someone is here to listen whenever you need to share.

Sending you lots of love, understanding and I hope you can feel this big hug coming!

(((((((((((((((weeping willow)))))))))))))

Terry

SarahW

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Re: New member not sure where to start
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2011, 04:56:05 PM »
My story begins at the end of September my ex partner fell tragically to his death, he was 27, although we parted under bad circumstances years ago part of me feels responsible.My mother in law passed 6 days later she had a gruelling six month battle with cancer, my partner was devastated and although i did my best to be suportive I did and still feel helpless. Lastly my aunt passed 18 days later she was 54. It was very sudden she was taken ill on my sons 4th birthday and transferred to an ICU. The doctors assured me she would make a full recovery and 2 days later I held her hand as she passed away.
My aunt was like a mum to me I saw her every second day and we spoke everyday. I am finding it difficult to cope and I feel so angry. My son was also very close to my aunt and He has suffered at her passing though he seems to be getting better now. I dont feel I can talk to my partner as he is grieving for his mum. I just feel so alone and that the daark clouds wont ever lift. Im 24 and I just feel like giving up and not bothering to get out of bed, My kids are my only postive just now. Everything else just seems like a chore. My friends have all been pushed away as I feel all I do is moan about losing these people. noone needs to constantly hear it, so I apologise that Im venting on here instead.

Terry said it very well, especially when it comes to your kids.

I am on the board due to my son's death in the summer of 2009 (he was 29) but years ago, when my son was just a baby, I lost my husband.

I very well remember the feelings you are describing, and having the baby helped me so much.  He was "a positive" as you say, plus, as much as I wanted to stay in bed and such, I really couldn't.  He needed me, and that was a powerful motivator.

Let your love for your children, and their love for you, help you.  And let their naturally positive, resilient natures bring you joy.

And don't get down on yourself for feeling down and sad.  You do have to find time to grieve, and how long it takes to grieve is a very individual thing.  Continue to reach out and get help (coming here, or talking to friends or a priest or minister or professional counselor) if you need it.

Thanks for sharing your story.  You are definitely among people who understand.  All my best!
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. -- Emily Dickinson

You were a gift

weeping willow

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Re: New member not sure where to start
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2011, 04:19:08 AM »
Thank you  Terry and SarahW for your posts. The hug was most certainly felt!! Its a good feeling knowing others are out there and are willing to listen. For that I am truely grateful. Yes my children are my pride and joy and most definately my focus just now, I dont know how I would get through if I didnt have their little cheeky smiling faces to keep me positive.
I am so sorry to hear of you loss Sarah. I cannot imagine the loss of losing a child but my thoughts are with you.
Thankyou again for replying to my post. I feel like I am no longer so alone.xxxxxx

browneyedgirl

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Re: New member not sure where to start
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2011, 01:59:44 PM »
weeping willow ~

I am so very sorry for the losses that you have suffered.

Welcome to Webhealing, as you can see, there are many kind, loving, supportive people here.  I am sorry that you have to be here with us. 

Please come back and let us know how you are doing.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Andrews mom

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Re: New member not sure where to start
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2011, 02:57:23 PM »
Dear Weeping Willow...I cry for you, so much loss, so many feelings. I'm new too, I lost a son and now that I think, a very close uncle, and my grandma also within two years. What a horrific death for you to experience, and the relatives also. Feel free to contact me...I need to talk (write), perhaps help or simply listen. I'm Andrew's mom and feel useless to the world. If I can help by listening please send words; sometimes silly things make us feel better- my uncle taught me poker at 5 yrs. Old. My grandma loved her husband so much she got pregnant (~1918) and forced her parents to let her marry, at the age of 15! We, mom and I, lived with her for about 6 yrs., so she was like a mom in so many ways...I  think I can understand that loss. I am crying a lot lately but feel better with this site. Contact me if you wish. A's mom.