Author Topic: New here...lost both parents in 5 months  (Read 3495 times)

isaac

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New here...lost both parents in 5 months
« on: April 30, 2010, 03:09:45 PM »
As I said in the title , both my parentsrecently  died within a short period of each other.
My Mother had some health problems that she really downplayed, so I wasn't aware of just how serious they were.
Dad took her to the ER , and she was admited to critical care immediatly.
After some testing it was detimined she had a fatal heart condition.
Went to a care facility where she died a few days later.
I was able to spend a bit of time with her, say goodbye...still not prepared for the sudden loss.
My father had many health issues, any of which could have been fatal.
In and out of the hospital several times over the last few years.
He was devestated by my mom's death, as he always thought he would go first.
He had a heart attack in early December, and went to an adult foster care when he was released from the hospital.
He died there five weeks later.
One of the things I struggle with is that he called in the early morning hours of the day he died, saying he was in a lot of pain, and asking me to come.
I had my cell phone next to my bed, but for some reason he called my home phone and I had the ringer shut off and did not hear it.
He got a hold of my sibling  in another town who called the facility, got him comfortable and eventually went back to sleep.
I don't know if I could have done anything else, if perhaps he just wanted my by his side.
It is enrirely possible he would have sent me home when he got sttled in, it is one of those things I'll bnever know.
There is guilt there because before I left the evening before I told him to call if he needed anything.
I can't get answers to some of my questions- the sibling is angry over other issues and has not spoken to me in over six weeks.
enough for now, it helps just getting some of this out.
Peace be with you
Isaac

georgiapeaches

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Re: New here...lost both parents in 5 months
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2010, 04:27:25 PM »
Dear Isaac,
wow, I am so sorry for what you are going through, you should try not to feel guilty, it sounds like there really wasnt anything you could do, maybe you could find some comfort knowing their together now? I know that doesnt really help with all your questions, bt sometmes they dont get answers and you shouldnt drive yourself crazy. I hope you can find some closure and peace in all this unhappiness. So sorry.

Georgia.

Welcome to the site.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

isaac

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Re: New here...lost both parents in 5 months
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2010, 05:18:43 PM »
Thank you georgiapeaches.
Most of the time I do OK knowing I could not have really done anything.
Its those long wide awake in the middle of the night times when the nagging doubts are there, sometimes i am so tired I don't remember clearly, so I have started writing down what I remember for reference at those times.
A wise man I know ( a minister) is fond of saying,
''God gave us tears so our heads don't explode''

lovedhim

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Re: New here...lost both parents in 5 months
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2010, 08:05:27 PM »
Isaac -- I am sorry for the loss of both your parents within a short time.  Please don't blame yourself for something that was not in your control.  I can tell that you gave a lifetime of love to both your parents.  Your devotion shows in how you write about them. 

isaac

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Re: New here...lost both parents in 5 months
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2010, 03:35:51 AM »
Thank you 'lovedhim', your kind words mean a lot.
Things have been getting a bit easier.
 

to young to be a widow

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Re: New here...lost both parents in 5 months
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2010, 01:45:52 PM »
issac,

so sorry to hear about your losses so close together--for all us of here are all caring people--we all are suffering here with our own loses--and express our feelings here--i hope that you are able to find some comfort with us

to young to be a widow
In memory of my loving husband Fred 4-28-62--5-8-2010