I understand how it hurts hearing our child's name. My son's name is Michael and it's a very common name so I hear it all the time. I'm sure you must hear your son's name, Jason, frequently as well.
I know that I have felt so out of control of my life since Michael died. I guess I never really was in control, not if my son could die like that, but it felt like I was navigating my life. Now, I know that any one of us could die at any time. The world seems very unsafe, harsh, and the grief is unrelenting. Everyone assumes we're handling it well, don't they? When inside, it's still so very raw and is actually worse in so many ways.
My heart is with you and Jason, Rebecca. I have a nephew named Jason (my sister's son) and he reminds me so much of my Michael. I have a particular fondness for the name Jason. :-)
Love,
Annette