Thank you J!
I am sorry for all the crap you had to deal with on top of losing your dad.
Jeff and I lived together for 1 1/2 years. He moved into my apartment when his boat (which he had lived on for many months) had to come out of the water for the winter.
He had a lot of problems, drank heavily (beer only but between 15-30 a day.) He still was a good man. He wanted to change so badly for me, but was unable to. He told me every day (many times) how much he loved me, how grateful he was for me to come into his life. He did so many wonderful things for me every day, always wanting to make me happy. He cooked for me all the time and he was a good cook! Sunday mornings he made breakfast always coming up with new omeletts and other creations.
He was going to teach me how to golf this summer. We loved to do things together and if it only was going to the bar having a beer and playing Keno. We spent almost all of the short time we had together. I would help him with his work, he was a credit card processor and a he was a great sales man, he could sell ice to eskimos, but never took advantage of people, always trying to get them the best deal.
I never felt as loved or cared for as when I was with him. It did not matter that I am not a beauty queen, he told me all the time how beautiful I was. He had a great sense of humor too. I could not have asked for a better man. He was so scared of his wife that he never disclosed my existance to her or his kids. He was always scared. It took months before I could touch his head without him flinching.
Not only was he good to me, but I tried very hard too be good to him. I showed him what love is and how a couple should interact, even in an arguement and we had some of those too, usually caused by his drinking. However I feel that maybe I did nag him a little too much about some issues, always nicely, but I know it hurt him. I hope in the end he knew how much I loved him.