Author Topic: Missing you  (Read 18644 times)

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #15 on: May 05, 2010, 07:37:29 PM »
Hey Leo,

Work is helping. It keeps me engaged and through each day. You are right about it being hard to look to the future. All of the things my future held are no more. I will have to look for a different path and see where it leads. What things do you like to do? I am finding that I need to do things but everything I used to do was with Greg. Can you relate to this?

Poppy

leo

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #16 on: May 06, 2010, 06:29:34 AM »
Hello Poppy,
Good hearing from you...I am glad that you are keeping busy...it distracts our minds just enough to help a little...I like to work in my dear wife's garden...it makes me feel close to her...it has been keeping me very busy...a lot of upkeep...like you and Greg, my wife and I did everything together...so now there is nothing to look forward to doing...I definitely can relate to what you are saying...we liked all of the same things...for me just being with her all the time was the greatest reward that I ever wanted...now as you say we will have to travel different paths and see where they lead us...it is good that you have your work to keep you occupied...
Leo

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2010, 07:30:36 PM »
Four Thursdays ago my sweet Greg went for a walk on the pier and he never came home. I made a fool of myself today when the assistant superintendent of elementary education tried to offer me condolences. I just told her no and didn't even hear her kind words. I am sure she is thinking I am an idiot. I was just having trouble keeping it together and if I had acknowledged her I would have really lost it in the middle of our meeting. I guess I better not be looking for a promotion any time soon.

How can he be gone? How is it possible that I will never hold his hand or hear his voice ever again?

Crying again and don't think it will ever stop.

Got to go, Poppy 

leo

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2010, 07:49:21 PM »
Hello Poppy,
Try not to fault yourself...I know how you feel...I tend to turn people off and do not want to hear mostly because so many have said the wrong thing...they are friends and I do not believe the things are said intentionally...they really do not know what to say...they do not know how I feel...I too get so sad when I think I will never hold my dear wife's hand, go for walks or doing anything...so difficult to accept Poppy...there is really no where to go...it is a horrible existence...try not to be too hard on yourself...wishing you a better tomorrow...
Leo

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2010, 08:08:54 PM »
Thanks Leo!! Just talked to my brother who was best friends with my Greg. He is also having a terrible time dealing with this. He is throwing himself into solving all of my financial problems. Tonight though, nothing seems to make either of us feel any better.

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #20 on: May 07, 2010, 10:49:41 PM »
Every day I go on it seems there are ups and downs. Today was a good day. No real issues with crying and able to function. I have been talking to lots of people today and that seems to help also. I wrote out some of the things I was feeling as I was sitting in a lecture today and that seemed to give me some insight.

Thanks for listening, Poppy

leo

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2010, 04:08:17 AM »
Hello Poppy,
I am happy that you experienced a better day...I too like to write things down otherwise all the days seem to mesh into one another...and in a month or two I can go back and review things if need be...I am sure the ups and downs will continue for a long time for all of us...how we are able to handle things will determine where we go...you have your children who I am sure need you and are overwhelmed by the changes in your lives...hope that you experience many more good days...we have to keep trying...wishing well to all here and some peace of mind...
Leo

leo

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #22 on: May 22, 2010, 08:43:11 PM »
Hello Poppy,
It has been a while and I was just wondering if you were well...I would think that the young children in school must be keeping you very busy...wishing you well and hope that your days have improved...I guess school will be ending soon...
Leo

leo

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #23 on: May 26, 2010, 04:15:00 AM »
Hello Poppy,

I was thinking of you and do hope that you are OK...I would guess that the children and school are keeping you busy...
I am existing but that is all I can say...I am so numb and filled with pain that I wonder why I continue to exist...each day is the same...nothing of too much value except working in my dear wife's garden...also working with an art framer to get some enlargements framed from photos of her...I do not know if it is good or bad as there are several and everywhere I turn she is there...they do a technique that makes the regular photo turn out as if it is on canvas...they look very nice...it occupies my mind and I do miss her  and love her so very much...I  am just so sad...I can not believe that she is gone...
Wanted to say hello to you...take care...

Leo

Luvinmike

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #24 on: May 26, 2010, 01:23:48 PM »
Poppy, leo and others-
I am sorry and thinking of each of you as the days roll into summer. It has been just past two years since my handsome, funny, kind and loving husband died unexpectedly and shattered my family.
I have since been through a fourteen month stint as a temp in a company that I now have a permanent part time position. I do not get benefits, not health anyways. I am done with all the worrying, I just do the best I can.
I am glad to report that I have some peaceful times now. I will never "recover or heal" from this, I will always want my husband back. I was so scared of this at first, but now I am learning to live with this fact.
My grief is worst when I get angry about not being able to talk to my husband one last time. I just wish for the past.

After the first year ( I only remember crying, and insomnia etc. but apparently I did go to work and pay the bills) the second year brought more mental clarity- which in my opinion made it hard in a different way. Now I was not so numb, and I do still feel that sadness. I am sad for this thought I have,  that the best part of my life is already over- and how can this be?
Slooowwwllly, I am finding things that interest me (in my case a new job) and being interested is the opposite of numb. So it helps a little bit. Being active also, .
Thinking of you, sending strength your way,
Terri

leo

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #25 on: May 26, 2010, 07:07:15 PM »
Hello Terri,
Thank you so much for sharing with us...it is very kind of you...I am so sorry for the loss of your husband...it seems that we have all been facing such difficult times...
You sound as if you have progressed a long way in two years and it seems as if the permanent temp position is to your liking...I wish you the best in the position and in life...I too know now that I will never recover or heal from the beautiful relationship that I had with such a wonderful, kind, beautiful and loving woman...we did so very well together...I never imagined that life could be so cruel...but it is a fact...I had almost 33 years that were beyond whatever I could have expected and for that I am forever grateful...
Thank you again for the insight although I must confess that sometimes I want everything to end...

Leo

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #26 on: June 08, 2010, 07:08:00 PM »
Hello All,

Thank you for continuing to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Today is 2 months since Greg has been gone. School is almost over and I am for the first time in my life not looking forward to summer vacation. All I see is endless, lonely days.

I have been very blessed to have many friends who continue to keep in touch and my children and grandchildren who bring joy to our house. Every day is filled with memories but I must keep moving or I get caught up in the remembering and not the living.

Greg was the love of my life and I can only keep going knowing he is looking down, keeping us safe and loving us still.

Poppy

closs86

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #27 on: June 08, 2010, 07:16:46 PM »
Hi
   the 6th was 2 months since my love left, I know how you feel, I also am blessed with good friends, and family and grandchildren, this is the reason we have to try to hang on, sometimes it is so hard for me, I feel like I won't be able to do it, then I do it, so I know that he is beside me giving me strength to go on.
 God bless
Karen

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #28 on: June 12, 2010, 10:17:34 PM »
The past few days have been incredibly hard for me. I am not sure why because nothing is that very different. It is the little things and the alone times that seem to creep up on me. I am currently ending the school year and moving schools after 18 years so maybe that has something to do with it. I just want to be able to share these things with him and he's not here. Will it ever be easier. Thanks for listening

jaxsaint

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #29 on: June 14, 2010, 03:36:58 PM »
I understand how you feel about the school year ending.  Not having Joe to talk to and hear from. . .I'm lost and alone. . .it doesn't even feel like I'm alive (except for the pain).