Poppy, leo and others-
I am sorry and thinking of each of you as the days roll into summer. It has been just past two years since my handsome, funny, kind and loving husband died unexpectedly and shattered my family.
I have since been through a fourteen month stint as a temp in a company that I now have a permanent part time position. I do not get benefits, not health anyways. I am done with all the worrying, I just do the best I can.
I am glad to report that I have some peaceful times now. I will never "recover or heal" from this, I will always want my husband back. I was so scared of this at first, but now I am learning to live with this fact.
My grief is worst when I get angry about not being able to talk to my husband one last time. I just wish for the past.
After the first year ( I only remember crying, and insomnia etc. but apparently I did go to work and pay the bills) the second year brought more mental clarity- which in my opinion made it hard in a different way. Now I was not so numb, and I do still feel that sadness. I am sad for this thought I have, that the best part of my life is already over- and how can this be?
Slooowwwllly, I am finding things that interest me (in my case a new job) and being interested is the opposite of numb. So it helps a little bit. Being active also, .
Thinking of you, sending strength your way,
Terri