Author Topic: Missing you  (Read 21884 times)

closs86

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #30 on: June 14, 2010, 08:05:16 PM »
We are not really alive, we are just existing from one day to the next, they all blend together, sorry for everyone's pain
Take care, Karen

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #31 on: June 15, 2010, 05:27:36 PM »
3 more days and my life changes one more time. I am taking my daughter to work at a camp and will be truly living alone for the first time in 27 years. I keep thinking that when I come back somehow Greg will be here.
I know that it isn't possible but love the dream.


closs86

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #32 on: June 15, 2010, 08:08:12 PM »
Hi Poppy,
     I am sorry that you are so anxious about your daughter leaving for camp, I know it is very scary to be alone, I haven't been alone ever until now, I went from my mom to my husband and kids, then back to just us, my whole life, this is the first time that I am alone,  It will be a big change for you, but you will slowly get used to it, maybe you can call her, or she can call you a few times a day in the beginning,  It is not easy,
Take care
Karen

lovedhim

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #33 on: June 18, 2010, 08:50:24 PM »
Poppy --

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband.  I, too, am alone after 25 years of marriage, and I find each day to be a challenge.  Someone told me to live hour by hour, and then another told me 15 minutes at a time.  I draw on these words often, and I have found on this site very sympathetic souls who understand my feelings .


Thinking of you and wishing you a bit of peace tonight.

closs86

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #34 on: June 20, 2010, 08:57:26 PM »
Hi Poppy
    How r u doing?, hope all is o k,  I had my son and his wife and my grandkids all day today, so we got through Fathers Day, I am really tired now, my grandkids knock me out. 
Take care
Karen

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #35 on: July 06, 2010, 05:53:51 PM »
Hello All,

We just celebrated the 4th of July Greg style. All of the family that could came over for swimming, barbecue and fireworks. It was hard but good. We even found a firework that Greg had bought last year and used it as our grand finale. Today, everyone has gone home and I am going to spend my first of many very long alone nights. I too am trying to find ways to keep myself busy because if I have too much down time I just think of what might have been. Thursday will be 3 months and I feel like I have been so alone even with everyone around. I know that this sounds babyish but I don't like staying by myself in the night. I scare myself. Greg used to laugh and hold me a little tighter.

Thank you all for you supportive thoughts and prayers. It is going to be a long summer.

Poppy

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #36 on: July 10, 2010, 01:20:47 PM »
Hey,

I have made it through 3 days of sleeping by myself in this big house. The dogs and cats have been keeping me company. I never realized how much chatter living with someone else brought to a house. Now all I have is silence. My sister-in-law said to leave the TV going but I don't want just noise. I am trying to go to the gym, walk the dogs and keep busy. I just feel so unsettled. I am reading a book that is helpful but like everyone here has said we must go on our own personal journey through this dark place. I wish I was hopeful for a light  but right now am not.

Poppy

closs86

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #37 on: July 10, 2010, 09:35:53 PM »
Hi Poppy
    You will get used to is, I do the same thing, my dogs are my saviours in the house, at least when I open the door there is some life in the house. I also go to the gym and yoga, only to let out some nervousness. but it helps. I go on the computer at night, and read, but I do leave the t v on for backround noise, or else it is too quiet for me.  We are all in the same boat, I guess eventually we will get used to this different life. Like you said we don't have much of a choice.
Good night
Karen

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #38 on: July 14, 2010, 01:48:34 PM »
It is Wednesday, July 14 and the last few days have been just awful. I have been crying, yelling and in general feeling sorry for myself. I have also started eating like there is no tomorrow and that has to stop. I already struggle to lose weight and letting it go will make this even worse. I know that there are stages to grieving but I don't seem to be able to move past the terrible pain of just missing Greg. I want him to be here and I don't want to do this alone. NO choice though. I am going to stop crying now and go to the gym. I don't want to but am forcing myself. I miss him so much.

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #39 on: July 22, 2010, 05:09:53 PM »
July 22 and still struggling to make sense of life. I have many, many bouts of crying. I don't want to do this alone. I keep living with the hope that he is coming back though I know this is not reality. I am so sad.

closs86

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #40 on: July 22, 2010, 07:33:02 PM »
Oh Poppy,
    I know what you are talking about, the other night at 3;30 in the morning i heard johnny calling my name, work right up out of a dead sleep, I just don;t know what to say.
God Bless
Hugs
Karen

jaxsaint

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #41 on: July 22, 2010, 08:22:28 PM »
Tomorrow is 4 mos for me and I still feel the same way.  I even went away to get a reprieve, but I cam home half expecting to see him when I walked in.  I hope you have a better day.
Jackie

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #42 on: July 24, 2010, 11:06:52 PM »
Every morning when I wake up I expect him to be holding me and am so sad when he is not there. I tried to call his cell phone so I could hear his voice but his mailbox is full and I don't know his password. I have to believe that God sees a bigger picture than I do and that somehow there is a reason for all of this.

Thanks Everyone, Poppy

closs86

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #43 on: July 25, 2010, 04:33:18 PM »
Hi
   I called his cell phone numerous times, and then we recorded his voice message, what good will it do, I don't know, the other night at 3;30 I heard him calling me, woke me right up out of a dead sleep. It was his voice, I know that it was him, also tonight when we went to dinner, some friends and I, all of a sudden our song came on in the restaurant, just can't believe it.
take care,
hugs
karen

poppy

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Re: Missing you
« Reply #44 on: July 27, 2010, 11:03:47 PM »
It's been a few days and I am doing a bit better. I finally went back to my holistic chiropractor and got adjusted and some healing juices to help me. I slept better last night. I have too much time on my hands and just keep wanting Greg to be here. I have to work on keeping myself busy. Tomorrow friends from school are bringing their children over to swim so that will be a distraction for one more day. I hope that each of you is finding some peace in each day. Poppy