Hello to all,
Another day, and nothing much changes. I took melatonin last night (a low dose), but it did not seem to help much. I was still awake at 3:30 am watching a movie, but I did fall asleep earlier for about 2 hours, so...........guess that didn't help.
I did manage to color my hair this morning (for who, I don't know), go to Target this afternoon for a few things, then came back home and walked with a friend of mine for a bit. She quit on me, so I walked some more by myself (a lonely walk since I miss walking with Charlie), but I know I have to keep doing it for my own sake, and I know he would have wanted me to.
A friend of mine who lives in Florida and usually comes up to visit family and friends (including me) in the summer told me last night that she is planning a trip in July. I told her not to include me this time because I am not up to having company and having to entertain them. I guess it was not nice of me, but I just can't handle it. She said she understood and doesn't want to impose on me. I find myself being very honest with people these days because I do not want to do anything that I don't want to. They will just have to understand and deal with it.
Leo, I don't know why our beautiful partners were taken from us--I too question the reasons. I know that I am a good person, and I believe you are as well, so I don't think we are being punished for anything. I like to think that it was just their time to leave us, and there is nothing we could do or could have done to change that. Our ultimate fate is not in our hands. If it is not too painful for you to tell me, how long was your wife ill?
Keep up with your wife's garden--I'm sure she would have wanted you to, and it is good therapy for you as well, as walking is for me.
I know how you feel about "just existing." I am feeling the same way. It's hard to think about going forward, I guess we just have to take it one day at a time.
A good night to all,
Jannie