Author Topic: Lost my beloved  (Read 76576 times)

leo

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Re: Lost my beloved
« Reply #255 on: June 07, 2010, 09:26:44 PM »
Hello Karen,
So very sorry that you had such a disheartening day...that is too bad...we are under so much stress that at times it is so difficult to contain ourselves...I had a similar though smaller incident...I was at the cashiers in the grocery store today...she was about halfway through my order when a man came over and wanted to know something about wine...she stops ringing up my order and walks about 40 feet away, picks up the store phone to contact someone about the wine question...I was ready to walk  out of the store and leave with half of my order bagged and in the cart...I told myself to cool it...she should have just told him to go over to the customer service counter and ask his question...after all that he calls out to her and says never mind he found the wine that he was looking for on the shelf...I guess there will always be these tests in life but we will find that we may not be able to tolerate them as we would have in our normal, happy lives...
I too have been on the phone to take care of things over the last few months and it does get unnerving wading through all those voice teleprompters and the variety of questions before you get to a person...
I know about saying certain things when I am bothered but I have no one to upset because I say them to myself when I look into a mirror...
I had an uneventful day otherwise...it rained a lot so I was outside for a very short time...

Jannie, I hope slept well and that your day at work went OK...I did look at airline flight schedules and the scary thing is that so many of the seats on the international flights are still empty and available...did add a few more flower photos...that is it and now for the most difficult part of my day...getting into bed and turning the last light out...

Donna...hope that you are OK...

Leo

leo

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Re: Lost my beloved
« Reply #256 on: June 07, 2010, 09:31:17 PM »
Hello Susan,

I understand and it was very nice of you to consider me...I think that the stresses of our situations take a toll...I know that they do on me...we all have such trauma that I find I have to learn to be more tolerant...thanks again...

wishing you well and hoping that you find some peace of mind...

Leo

Jannie

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Re: Lost my beloved
« Reply #257 on: June 08, 2010, 08:31:31 AM »
Good morning all,

Just a quick post to say hello.  I need to get going and get some work done outside today.  I decided not to go to the concert this afternoon for that reason, so I need to do what I have to while the weather is cooperating.  It is a beautiful, cool day here, perfect for working outside.

Sunday night I had a good night's sleep, so I was ready for a full day at work yesterday.  The day went well, and it is good to be "out of myself" for those hours and talk with other people.  My job involves being pleasant and selling a product all day long, so I have no choice.  After work I stopped to pick up a few groceries and met a woman I know who lost her husband four years ago.  She has moved on with her life and keeps very busy, but she still misses him a lot.  I guess the key is to try and keep busy, involve ourselves with something other than our loss, and keep moving on even though our lives will never be the same again.  There really is no other choice (there is, but I hope that none of us are even considering that alternative).

I got through the entire day without crying yesterday until I went to bed last night, then the floodgates opened for me.  I know this is a roller coaster ride of emotions which will continue for a long, long time for all of us, but crying is part of healing; and we should not try to suppress those feelings when they hit us.

Karen, I was just reading something that Hope Hospice sent me in the mail today called "Steps to Survival":  IT'S OKAY TO FEEL ANGER--Everyone acts angry at the loss of love.  Channel it wisely, and it will go away as you heal.  Kick on a bed.  Yell and scream when you're alone.  Run and play hard games.  Hit a punching bag.  Play the piano.    

I know we can't do everyone of these things, but at least we know that it is normal to feel the way we do.  I am always losing my patience with everyone and everything, and I am swearing more than I ever did, but I know that it is the grief that is causing me to do these things, and that one day I will get control again.  I hope that you have a much better day today.

Leo, I feel your pain in all your posts.  I don't want to offer you any advice because I know you will reject it out of hand, so I will just keep quiet.  You need to figure things out for yourself as you said.

Your recent photos of your garden are just beautiful.  Your garden is truly lovely.  I hope you spend some time sitting in it and admiring it as well as working in it so many hours.  

These are difficult economic times for so many people, and many of them have curtailed their travel.  That is the reason you are seeing so many empty seats on the flights, I think.  That should not stop you from going though if you want to go.  Look at it as a reason to be more comfortable on the flight with less people.

These are such awful days for all here, and I am glad that I can come here to read and vent although I know that it does not change things and is not a substitute for human (not computer) contact with friends and others.  I dreaded going back to work a few weeks ago, and I dreaded going away this past weekend, but both things turned out reasonably well, and I am glad I made the effort because it has helped.  The pain I feel over Charlie's loss is always there, but the agony and gut-wrenching feelings are starting to ease just a little since I got out of this house and away from myself.

Well, I have been on here longer than I wanted to be, so I am going to close now--my eyes are starting to fill with tears as I finish this.

Wishing all of you the strength to deal with your individual situation today and in all the days ahead.  Have a pleasant and peaceful day,

Jannie



« Last Edit: June 08, 2010, 10:05:33 AM by Jannie »

leo

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Re: Lost my beloved
« Reply #258 on: June 08, 2010, 11:04:56 AM »
Hello Jannie,

Today has not been a very good day for me at all...so your message caught me at a most inappropriate time...

No need to be concerned about me rejecting any suggestion out of hand any more...as this will be my last post...I feel that the best thing we can do for someone is listen to them and sympathize with them...

To everyone, thank you all very much for your understanding, kind words and your sympathies...I am so sorry for all of your losses...I wish everyone some peace and something better in your lives to help you along after the tragedies that you have endured...

Leo

Jannie

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Re: Lost my beloved
« Reply #259 on: June 08, 2010, 01:30:24 PM »
Leo,

I am sorry if my post upset you.  It just seems that you are so determined to deal with this in your own way, and you seem to dismiss any suggestions that some of us may offer you to ease your acute grief.  I apologize if I upset you, and I don't want you to stop posting because of anything I might have said, so let me be the one to stop posting (not you) in the thread which you started.

I am very sympathetic, Leo, to your loss, as I am to everyone on here, that is why we want to help each other.  I hear you spiraling downwards every day, and it upsets me.  I just do not believe we can do this by ourselves, and I have been there once before, so I know what I am saying.

Wishing you all the peace you deserve in whatever way you are comfortable with.

Jannie
« Last Edit: June 08, 2010, 03:28:53 PM by Jannie »

closs86

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Re: Lost my beloved
« Reply #260 on: June 08, 2010, 07:46:42 PM »
Hi Leo and Jannie,
      Leo I hope you don;t stop posting, I look forward to hearing from you and Jannie every day, I will miss it, what is wrong today leo, can we help you with anything?  It is just an extra bad day, maybe tomorrow will be a little better. I think I left a post yesterday, It was a terrible day for me, all day into the night, and then I woke up today, and was in a different way, and felt better.  So Jannie is right it is a horrible emotional roller coaster.  I hope you change your mind and  come back.
      Jannie I am happy to hear that it is normal the anger, because it scared me, but today I felt better, no anger, and calmer.  I met some friends and was out most of the day, and was just in a better frame of mind,  I have to work tomorrow, so that is good, work and all the people around, is good.
      I pray that we all get through this in peace, and that the bad days and roller coaster gets less and less, our loved ones would want us to do that.
Take care
Hugs
Karen

to young to be a widow

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Re: Lost my beloved
« Reply #261 on: June 09, 2010, 11:20:12 AM »
leo,

please come back and continue to post--even though i am still in the early stages of my grief and depression--it was because of your post to me that i was able to get something in my system and keep it down--i may not be able to offer words of comfort to you are anyone else yet since i am still in the early stages myself--but we all have something in common here and that is to share with each other the pain and misery we are feeling--so pleas ecome back--we all still need to hear from you

penny
In memory of my loving husband Fred 4-28-62--5-8-2010

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Lost my beloved: Please Read!
« Reply #262 on: June 11, 2010, 01:36:08 PM »
Please feel free to start a "New Topic" as this thread has been locked. If anyone has any questions or concerns, contact me as soon as the need arises and I'll be happy to help in any way I can!

Thank You!

Love,
Terry