Author Topic: Letting Go Prayer  (Read 7919 times)

Ramona

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Letting Go Prayer
« on: March 31, 2010, 07:49:27 AM »
My Tim had been gone a little over 5 months and a mother posted this prayer.  I know the word "Letting Go" is so very hard to embrace especially in the beginning of our loss.  So I tried my best to read this prayer outloud, which I did but had to stop over and over to catch my breath, to wipe my tears and blow my nose.  I left out the part being angry at my child.  And I kept it to read once in a while on my path to see where I was at that time.  It helped me change my focus with my grief.  My heart was truly broken after my son left.  I really fell far those first few years.  But I refused to stay down.  Maybe this can help someone else as I did for me. 

One of the most frightening things for a bereaved person is to conceive of "letting go" of the deceased.  To many, this equates with "forgetting" the person who has died.  A better way to understand it is to see it as a shift of focus.  Whereas the life and death of the loved one has been the primary and frontal image in the life of the bereaved, the deceased begins to move slowly to the other side, to accompany the bereaved on the continuing journey of life instead of being the ultimate goal.  The memory remains as long as there is life, but it is no longer the reason for that life.  One learns to move forward, taking memories along as companions.

This prayer is not designed to be said once and then put aside, for letting go does not happen in a single instant.  Like grief, it is a process.  The prayer is meant to assist in the changing of the focus.

Dear____________________

Your death has left a gaping hole in my life and heart, producing an emptiness I know will never be filled.  I miss your voice, the sound of your laughter, those funny endearing things you did, those moments when I was infuriated at you.  I miss the dreams I had for and with you.  I miss the future we will never have and the past which, no matter how long it may have been, will never be enough.

I have wept for you as well as for myself.  I have raged in anger at you, at God, at Fate, at the world, at anyone and anything which seemed to be appropriate target.  I have tried to understand why you are no longer with me, why I have to struggle through this world without you.  Some people have reached out to help me; others have turned away unable to bear the pain I carry.  I do not ask them to share it with me, only to listen as I talk and cry.  I have waited in the darkness for some sign that you are in a better, safer place, and even when I may have received it.  I could not help but question how it could be better if I am not there with you.  And I have wanted to join you so often when the aloneness threatened to overwhelm me.

Through all of this turmoil and doubt, I have managed to come this far.  I have not yet achieved my goal, but at least I can now recognize that I am on the road to receovery.  I am not sure how I will go on without you; no matter how many other important people may be in my life, you have always held a special place, and it is hard to imagine you not with me.

Will you walk beside me now as a friend, comrade, loving compansion?  I cannot come to you at this time, I can only trust that we will be reunited in God's love and compassion.  But my life must go on; it is time for me to begin to live my life for myself and others.  As I think of letting you go, I must now ask that you also let go of me.  Your new life must seem as strange to you as my new life seems to me; perhaps the memory of me is as comforting to you as your memory is to me.  Let us, then, agree to explore these new existences, these new spheres of reality, knowing that we carry the other with us, not with chains, but with loving, open hands.

I let you go, my dearest.  I know you wil never leave my side, as I will never leave yours.  Thank you for the wonderful, unique realtionship we shared.  When we meet once more, I look forward to sharing these new experiences with you.  I love you, I miss you.   I will never forget you.

copyright, 1991, Nan Kenton, Glendale AZ 

browneyedgirl

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Re: Letting Go Prayer
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2010, 11:15:33 AM »
Beautiful.....but  :'(

Thank you for posting this.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Letting Go Prayer
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2010, 02:37:22 PM »
That is very beautiful. I can't imagine letting go, I don't know if that will ever happen for me. I don't know how to.

Dottie (Tammie's Mom)

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Re: Letting Go Prayer
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2010, 05:57:44 AM »
That is beautiful. I wish I could do that but LETTING GO is just so hard.

Dottie Tammie's Mom

Annette

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Re: Letting Go Prayer
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2010, 08:23:50 PM »
I don't understand how to let go either, but thank you for the posting message and letter. Very thoughtful of you.
Michael's Mom
12-13-82 - 5-14-07

Trevor & Michael 2004 Age3

Kathy

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Re: Letting Go Prayer
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2010, 05:34:04 AM »
Dear Ramona,

Thank you for this prayer. I think "letting go" is an analogy for moving forward with all the pain, all the grief, but all the love we have for our child. Somehow we will learn to survive (maybe live) in this world without our child. I work on this everyday, some days I do better than other days.

Love,
Kathy-Don's Mom