My heart is broken and so are all your hearts, yet it is somehow comforting to read what everyone has written.
Ytter's mom- I have done tons of screaming, especially in the first 6 months. I often wondered why neighbors never called the police, but then my house was pretty soundproof and they probably didn't hear me. I no longer do it, but probably should. I still cry daily and every day I "pretend" to be okay so that people at work won't avoid me. Of course, they will not mention my son, and it kills me.
Betty, I know how hard it is to want to stay here without our children. But then I think of what Michael would have wanted for me, and he would have wanted me to live and never give up -- never give up living and moving forward and looking for joy. I pray that you will find some peace.
Rebecca, I understand what you're talking about. I have the same thoughts about possibly never being happy. I thought I had a pretty good life, but I've experienced tremendous loss and pain over my lifetime. I know others have it worse and I'm not trying to compare, it's just that I think I could have handled just about anything more than I can handle the loss of my child. I have handled a lot. Nothing comes close to the pain I feel with my grief.
I pray every day for peace for everyone who's lost a child and for myself, too.
Love,
Annette