Author Topic: two days after my 18th birthday...  (Read 3062 times)

Maura828

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two days after my 18th birthday...
« on: December 21, 2009, 02:42:38 PM »
My poppa passed away.
It was on the morning of my 18th birthday that i got a call from my mother, telling me that my dad had called her saying that my poppa was in the hospital, and they didn't have much hope.
So instead of enjoying my birthday, becoming an adult... i rode 45 minutes away, sobbing the entire time, thinking of losing my hero.

I introduced my boyfriend to my Poppa just a week before he was hospitalized. This was a HUGE deal, i had never been so serious about a boyfriend, i'd never been so sure of who i was with, and i had never dated anyone i thought was worth introducing to my Poppa. His opinion mattered most to me. I'm pretty old fashioned, in the sense that i wanted Dylan (my boyfriend) to have my Poppa's approval before I decided to devote my heart to him. We planned to go out to lunch, but Poppa called saying that he didn't feel very well, so we went to Subway and brought back lunch. We chatted for a while, watched an old western style movie, the kind Poppa always watched, and we just talked about what was going on in our lives. Poppa grilled Dylan a little, asking him where he worked, what his plans were for the future and whatnot. And of course, Dylan answered him respectfully, and they joked with eachother.

Before we left, Poppa said that he was happy to have met Dylan, and that he is a good man, and that he knew i wouldn't introduce anyone to him if i didn't think he would approve, then he smiled and shook dylan's hand and said "I approve"

i was almost in tears. then Poppa gave me a big hug, and kissed my cheek, and i told him that his wiskers tickled, just as i have everytime he's kissed my cheek when i was very young.


I'm still with DYlan, and we're Planning our future together.. We're not going to jump so far ahead and plan a marrige or anything, but we are planning our college life and moving in together. I know Poppa would be proud of me for starting college, since he and grandma set up a fund for my sister and myself to attend after they passed (which was a nice surprise). And i know he would be proud that i'm working towards my dream of getting a degree in English Lit.  (which was also his first major) and i know he is proud looking down on me, seeing how mature i am and knowing that i am getting through this...


I'm just terrified for every holiday, every birthday, and everything that reminds me of my poppa, and also my grandma...  I know from experiance that through time, the pain will dull, but i also know from experiance, no matter how long it will be, i will always miss them, and eventually, there will be others that i will miss. But if there's anything that Poppa taught me that i know will help me through my entire life, is that in order to live my life to the fullest, i can't be afriad, I need to experiance everything that i can, and Love the best i can, i need to stay as strong as i can through the hard times, because no matter how hard things get, i will be able to laugh again, and even when i feel alone, i will always have him, and my grandma, and anyone else i will lose, there with me, in my heart, and in my mind, and in my laughter.

georgiapeaches

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Re: two days after my 18th birthday...
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2009, 07:17:20 PM »
Hi Maura,
are you sure you need advice? you put me in tears everytime i read one of your posts. I feel like I'm talking to your grandfather, he taught you well. You are such a fine mature young lady, Kevin did a great job! When my husband passed away your poppa was there for me and he was saying the excact words you were just saying, he got me through many hard days. I loved reading his posts he always knew what to say, always positive and so are you!I'm so sorry you lost your poppa but you are a fine young woman because of your grandparents. They did a wonderful job and you do make them proud. Keep up the good work and good luck with Dylan and college. Love reading your stories too. keep em coming. Have a wonderful Christmas, I will be lighting a candle for your poppa and grandma.

love, georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

Maura828

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Re: two days after my 18th birthday...
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2009, 10:20:37 PM »
i just know that i'm not always so sure of the advice i give others. i know it will help them if they choose to let it, but i feel so lost.... almost like my advice doesn't work for me, or like my own thoughts, and ideas are not worth taking seriously. hearing it from others is the only way for me to believe in myself. So i do need advice... especially since the one person i always got it from, the one who helped the most, can't give me any anymore.

georgiapeaches

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Re: two days after my 18th birthday...
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2009, 08:37:24 PM »
Then Maura you came to the right place, because "your poppa" taught us well. and you are such a bright young lady anything I can do to help you, I'm here and I'm sure I can speak for everyone else, they would so the same.

Georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY