Gary,
I am sorry for what you are going through. In answer to your questions, my first Christmas without my husband was kind of surreal. I was not sure that I wanted to do any of the usual things I did for Christmas. But as it got closer, I chose to go ahead and do most of the decorating that I would have done. I felt that I would be comforted by the tree and lights once they were done. I was, but it was very painful to put on ornaments that we had picked out together, and purchase one in his memory and hang it on the tree. I have no family to be with but my elderly mother, so we just did the best we could. It is devastating, but, we have to go through it to get to the other side, where we can feel better.
It is very hard when the death is so near to a major holiday.
This is my third Christmas without my sweetie, and it is much easier than the last two. I have no choice but to accept that everything is forrever changed, but I can still enjoy many things about the holiday.
I didn't feel like being around a lot of people either. I think you have to decide what will be the least upsetting for you.
Peace and Healing,
mousewife