Author Topic: My Brother's Ashes - May be senstive.  (Read 2116 times)

browneyedgirl

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2320
    • View Profile
My Brother's Ashes - May be senstive.
« on: November 18, 2009, 08:58:17 AM »
We will be commiting a portion of Tony's ashes to the Church on Nov. 21.  This is something that my mother wants, as things were left out of his service (not intentionally) and she did not feel that his soul was completly commited to God.
I know that this will be a hard day for everyone...it's supposed to be cold (67, which is cold for where we live in AZ). Some of his ashes have already been to Mexico, the moutains and a few other places...but this seems to be so final...closure I guess.

My mother is stuggling with how to explain cremation to my nephew, as it will be hard to him to understand at 8 yrs old.....I was wondering if anyone had to explain this to a child before, and what was your experince.  I believe it will be hard to explain what we did with his daddy's body....anyone been though something like this??

Thanks.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2009, 12:02:12 PM by browneyedgirl »
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

laurenE

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1439
    • View Profile
Re: My Brother's Ashes - May be senstive.
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2009, 12:07:52 PM »
That final closure is a tough one ,  whether it be letting go of the ashes or selling the last belonging.    I feel for you.   Been there.

Cremation... good question.   I've never had to explain it, as we have always buried our family.   But perhaps you could simply say that when we die,  our body dies as well,  and turns to ashes.    (which is true even in burial over time ). 

Say as little as possible.  No details about how the body becomes ashes (dont explain the process of cremation.  It could traumatize him).
   
He will let you now how much info he wants.  If he does not ask any more questions after you explain to him that the body turns to ashes when it dies,  that thats just the way it is,   then that tells you that his little mind is not ready for more info.    And if he does, be as vague as possible,  much like you would explain very very vaguely to a child how babies are born.   

I will pray that day will find you surrounded by support and love

lauren

 

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: My Brother's Ashes - May be senstive.
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2009, 10:12:42 AM »
((((( browneyedgirl )))))

My thoughts are with both you and your Mom at this time. In regards to your nephew, every child is so unique and in their stage of maturity. But, at eight years old, I personally wouldn't volunteer a lot of information. I would be very brief and not go into any detail regarding the process. Rather, keep it simple, loving and caring regarding where Tony has gone and not so much emphasis on the means in which he will return to the earth. And, if he continues to ask further questions, I would choose the words I use carefully and again, be as brief as possible.

I just noticed the date on your post, so I guess this is all very late. I'm so sorry.

Please give your precious Mom a big hug from me. And, a big hug coming for you, too!!

My Love,
Terry