Trying to get it together

[Luvinmike]

This is not a serious problem. Just like the tired issue, it is more of a chronic problem. I keep missing deadlines, forgetting stuff, and generally being very scattered. I have my sister, who has been my best friend through this, annoyed as I overlapped my schedule and I will be late for a dinner we have tonight. I just got off the email from apologizing for a bunch of financial stuff I had due, regarding taxes, still not done. Major work to do before winter here- I just look at it all. Anyways, just frustrated with my own low energy I guess.
Thinking of all of you and wishing a little energy for each of you. Hope we all have a peaceful time today.
Terri

[browneyedgirl]

Terri ~ although I personally can not relate to this....I know my mom can. 

Since my brother died, I have noticed a signifacant change in her mentally...she forgets stuff (she never did that) she will ask the same question several times after recieving an answer, she will say the same things or stories over and over.  At first I was scared that she might have something wrong with her...and then I realized that yes, she did have something wrong....she missed someone very dear to her and maybe her mind was really somewhere else..perhaps with my brother. 

I guess that I just wanted you to know that you're not crazy, and someone else is going thought the same thing that you are.

Take care!!

[littleha]

Terri, I don't know how to answer you. I have received so much help here it pains me when I have no words for others. I too have missed a couple of bill due dates and that is not me as I make sure they are all paid. The mortgage, bills, and food come first, then any extra is a good thing. I just say that next month I will try and not forget. The utility's and others will not usually care for 1mth. I have been working on winter for more than a mth now. Maybe it is a male thing? At some point everything will fall in place. From your status here (which I respect by the no. of your posts) my help is small but I hope it helps some how.
Take care Terri
Allan

[Luvinmike]

Thank you both- all help and support is Big Allan. Thank you!
I left my grief group early- inconveniencing them, but I went out with my sister and we had a nice dinner and talk. Not too much wine.
So, thanks for listening, I really appreciate it. Sometimes it is just about keeping going.
Terri

[laurenE]

LuvinMike,

I'm sorry you are struggling so much. I know I did the same things after mom died.  Couldnt remember anything, couldnt focus,  put things where they didnt belong and didnt realize I was doing it til later.   Grief is crazy sometimes.

Maybe you need a loved one to come over and help motivate you with the big stuff.  I used to have my husband stand next to me and make me do this or that (finish the bills, clean out a closet, fold the laundry),   just b/c I didnt have the motivation to either start it or finish it.   That all goes away in time, but it does make ya wonder about yerself when its happeneing. lol

Make sure you have an equal balance of recreation and work in your week as well.  An out of balanced life can add more stress.

take care of you

lauren

[Donna B.]

Terri just wanted to reply and tell you I am thinking of you. It is hard and I guess we just have to do the best we can. You have been there for so many people on this board and I thank you for being there for me.

Not to make light of your situation but I have spent 30 mins. looking for my glasses and they were on top of my head the whole time. But I know how you feel and hopefully things will get better for us. ((((hugs))))

Love, Donna

[Luvinmike]

Hi Donna;
Figured you could use a smile so I thought I would tell you my airheadedness story. I got home from some family event, started crying, called or was called by a friend in the middle of crying, so I talked to this friend. I then said to this caller-"Hey where is my cell", I was crying and sobbing looking for it with my friend. Until I realized I was talking on it. It is rididulous. So I wish you a week of clear thinking also! Hugs to you Donna.

[mousewife]

I think we all have trouble with paperwork and bill-paying, as well as other tasks, especially in the beginning.  I have to do all of my Mom's too, which makes me twice and nuts.

And, speaking of stupid cell phone things, my friend, who is a widow too, has been gone to Florida.  I've had to call her several times on her cell phone due to some upsetting things I've been dealing with.  I've spent several hours on the phone with her using my cell phone because I don't have long distance on my landline.  Only tonight did I realize I could have used the landline because her cell phone number is in my area code.  How stupid of me to forget that just because she was 900 miles away didn't mean that her cell phone would have been long distance!  Oh, well.

mousewife

[mousewife]

Oops.  I meant twice as nuts, not twice and nuts.  Just once I would like to be able to post a reply with no typos and errors.  I suppose there is always hope, but I wouldn't count on it.

mousewife

[laurenE]

luvinmike,

lol.  thats a good one.   i put the dawn dishwashing liquid in the fridge and grabbed it for my cereal one time.     

[sevenofwands]

Hello Terri:

I can so identify with what you say, and the good news is that it is quite normal, and the result of stress.  But you really do think you are going off your head (lol).  Life can be stressfuloften, even at the best of times, never mind in the aftermath of bereavement and grief. 

I agree with Allan.  Things do surely fall into place, and the world does not stop turning.  One has to cut oneself some slack.
It will get better, Terri.

You made me smile, Donna.  I remember frantically looking for my car keys, around the house.  They were in the FRIDGE!!!

Best to all
Seven

[MISSINGYOU]

Not only can I identify, so does my mom. Especially my mom. For me, I go through streaks. I get a project done and then nothing happens for a few days or I sit and forget what I was going to work on. By the end of the day I look around and can't believe that so little was accomplished. Mom says she can't motivate at all. Projects take so long to finish if they get finished at all. She isn't sleeping or she is over sleeping. All part of the process I guess.

Elizabeth