Author Topic: Almost a year now  (Read 4596 times)

Lins

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Almost a year now
« on: September 04, 2009, 01:27:38 PM »
It'll be a year on Thanksgiving since my Dad passed. I do not look foward to November because with it comes my Dad's birthday and 10 days later the day he passed away on. I don't know what to do. November has lost its appeal to me. I still find myself thinking that at anytime I can pick the phone up and call him. Then, like a nightmare I can't wake up from it all hits me again. The pain I feel from the lose, the sorrow, the anger. I don't sleep, hardly. I can't stand to lie there and have what I saw play over and over again in my head. People that are close to me tell me that it will all get easier with time. I don't see how. I feel drained and disconnected from the person I use to be. My family has deemed me as my Dad's keeper. They tell me that I need to take it easy on myself but I cannot. I lash out towards those that are closest to me and I can feel myself withdrawing from those relationships. I keep others at a distance. Somedays I just don't know what to do with myself. I am lost. I beleive I need someone to talk to that is not associated with me or my situation. Anyways, thanks for reading and your replies, it helps me a little to vent. Sorry if I ramble.
*LINDSEY*

SoCal2010

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Re: Almost a year now
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2009, 01:47:17 PM »
My Dad passed away in November too, near Thanksgiving. It was 10 years ago. It will get easier for you, although of course you will always miss him. I used to dread November, but now I'm more neutral on it.

I was my Mom's keeper so I know what you mean. I'm getting very resentful as time goes by and it's only been 7 weeks for her. I do think it helps to talk to people outside the situation.

(((hugs)))

Jap Jr

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Re: Almost a year now
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2009, 01:58:51 PM »
Lins;

It will be 1 year for me since I lost Jim on November 21st; I can understand and feel what you are going through, even though it was your Dad. Thanksgiving is not what I look forward to this year, or Christmas and the music and the hustle bustle of people shopppig; guess I should not anticipate, but it's hard not to. And New Years, as that it was on NYE the 1st time we went out. The 1st year going through these Holidays was a fog, and I have heard the 2nd year can be worse; I am tending to believe it, as now the fog has lifted and reality really sets in.

The hurt, pain, feeling lost, alone, missing his touch, hugs, kisses, snuggling, his voice, his phone calls, seeing his face, that smile - just everything.

I am having anxiety about it already; both our bd's are this month, so have to get past those, too. We were to be married one day this year, and didn't have an exact one picked out, but probably would have been this month, as he wanted to get married between our bd dates.

I pray you can get through this, too - will be thinking of you.

((( hugs )))

Kay

Lins

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Re: Almost a year now
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2009, 06:59:36 PM »
Thanks, I appreciate your time and stories. It helps to know that though I feel alone I am truly not.
*LINDSEY*

snookamom

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Re: Almost a year now
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2009, 08:15:59 AM »
Hi, just wanted to add my voice to the ones who are almost at the 1 year mark.  My husband, Bruce, died on October 4, 2008.  He had myotonic muscular dystrophy, so for the last 2 years of his life, I sometimes felt more caretaker than wife.  We were together for 32 years and I miss his presence in my life

browneyedgirl

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Re: Almost a year now
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2009, 08:49:12 AM »
(((Lins)))
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Linda1977

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Re: Almost a year now
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2009, 09:57:20 PM »
I related to your post.  My mom was killed one year ago this December.  I USE to love Christmas time, but now it is just a reminder that my mom was ran over by a drunk driver.  Most days I feel like I am just "acting" like I am feeling normal.  It is all so crazy!  I am not sure that I will ever feel like life is worth living.  My mom was not suppose to be taken in this way.  We didn't get to tell her goodbye...we did, but she was unconscious and we don't know if she heard us. 

Sorry for YOUR loss.  I just wanted to let you know that your post sounded so familiar to me.

Take care and God Bless you...