Author Topic: with the holidays approaching  (Read 6096 times)

teppuM999

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 134
  • i love you matthew
    • View Profile
with the holidays approaching
« on: August 30, 2009, 03:49:12 PM »
how do you prepare?

this halloween, matthew and i really wanted to do a haunted house. he'd drawn some plans and stuff, and since we were going to move into our place together, we would've most certainly done it, even if it was smaller-budget than we wanted. =p

i've got one of his costumes sitting on my couch. pondering making my own like it, just smaller. still have some of the stuff he used to make it

just not really sure i'm even going to want to do any halloweening. i dunno.

then there's thanksgiving, and christmas, and new years.
i've never NOT looked forward to them more than i do now.

"Don’t say we have come now to the end. White shores are calling. You and I will meet again. And you’ll be here in my arms, just sleeping."

SoCal2010

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 163
    • View Profile
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2009, 04:02:38 PM »
I'm preparing by trying to figure out a way to get out of town.

The worst for me will be Thanksgiving and Christmas. This will be the first time I won't see my Mom on those days.

teppuM999

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 134
  • i love you matthew
    • View Profile
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2009, 05:04:21 PM »
getting out of town might be a really good idea

"Don’t say we have come now to the end. White shores are calling. You and I will meet again. And you’ll be here in my arms, just sleeping."

futbllwmn

  • nospam
  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 73
    • View Profile
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2009, 07:46:52 PM »
I spent last Christmas, my first w/o Ron, with the bed covers over my head.   It was a completly horrible day.  My husband LOVED the holidays.  I won't go through that hell again so this year I'm taking my kids and grandkids to Hawaii over the holidays.  I don't know if it will be any better but I pray it will be.

Peace

Joyce

littleha

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 89
    • View Profile
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2009, 04:07:05 PM »
I have had had Halloween and Christmas on my mind for weeks now. I thought I was alone in this and now I see that I am not. I have been thinking of how I will  be able to handle all of these new 'firsts' in my life and decided not to worry about them so early as when the time comes there is little I can do to change anything except hope to try and make a couple of new traditions. It won't be easy but if one new tradition shows up that is all that I ask for. Allan
My darling wife Cathy
Love you
 July 3  1958-May 11 2009

Carlina

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 46
    • View Profile
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2009, 05:11:14 PM »
Having already gone through the first holidays without my husband Mark, I know the pain that will accompany these holidays. I sat down with the children (3 sons and 1 daughter along with their spouses) and discussed what we would do about the holidays. We decided to keep some of the traditions like food and celebrations but added several others to remember Mark. Usually we stay together at the farm house and then celebrate the holiday. This last year the children stayed in their own homes to let the children have Christmas at thier homes and and gathered for dinner later on Christmas Day. I went to Midnight Mass and sang in the choir. Later came home to celebrate with a very rich  piece of dessert and a glass of wine. The next day I went to Mass again to sing in the choir. I never did this before as I sat with Mark to listen to the beautiful music and Mass.  This year we also made special ornaments for the families' trees with a picutre of Mark on it. The grandchildren then talked about Papa and what they remembered about him. Before the snow hit (in early Dec.) the families went and placed a wreath made of pine branches from the farm on his grave. The rest of the traditions were observed as we always have.
For Thanksgiving we also remembered Mark with a special prayer and a candle that was on the table. The grandchildren and kids glued leaves on the candle with special memories of Papa.
Another tradition in our family is the opening day of deer camp supper. Again we raised a toast and talked about Mark who had hosted many of these parties on the farm. His deer blind was empty but everyone gave a small knock as we went by it.
I know that there are special memeories for each of you that you will remember about past holidays with your love ones. There  will be tears as well. It did help to be with others and to create new memories and traditions.
I also spent some quiet time in my own memories of Mark as I had 34 years with him. I took the Christmas Picture album and spent some time remembering. You will get through the holidays one day at a time. (((Hugs)) Carlina

Jap Jr

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 414
    • View Profile
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2009, 05:28:47 PM »
Missing Jim, that's how I will get through them; both our BD's are in Sept; then Halloween, not so much for us, but the grandkids; his lived here, mine are in Chicago; have pics I took last year of Jim with some of his grandkids sitting in his chair; 3 weeks later he was gone. Buried him the day before Thanksgiving, but this year will  be harder, it was all a fog through the new year. I still have a Christmas present, wrapped, sitting on the coffee table behind the couch; 1st thing you can see coming into the house; by now, everyone just looks at it and smiles. Thought I might open it this Christmas, when I am by myself. Our 1st date was on NYE; it was all a fog last year. Then the long, cold, staying inside Minnesota winter. Maybe will start to tackle some of the projects I was going to do last winter. Have no idea what will be in store for the Holidays - traditions have changed.

Have seen it posted that sometimes the 2nd year of "1st's" so to speak, can be worse. I just know I miss my Love, my rock, my stability and his touch - just so much I miss that touch and his gentleness and voice; just one more hug  ........

How does one prepare? good qustion, teppu. Personally, my opinion, I think you should go ahead and make that costume if it makes YOU feel better and closer to Matthew.

Memories ............. Jim I miss US

Kay

carrieset

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 252
    • View Profile
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2009, 09:54:00 PM »
It's interesting as I've also been thinking about the holidays lately, too.  I guess with September upon us, fall is coming and made me think about how fast the last 8 months have gone since Laurence died.  I hardly remember much of those months, just alot of pain.

I did spend last Thanksgiving in hospice with Laurence feeding him mushy food as he was choking on regular food.  I still vividly remember all those days walking into hospice not sure if his room was going to be empty.

It sucked to walk through this beautiful facility (it was like a very nice hotel) and it was all fancied up for Christmas.  It broke my heart to think of why I was there.

I had an hour of Christmas Eve with my kids so they could open presents and go back to their dad's.  Laurence died at 1:57 a.m. on Christmas Eve so I was not much in the mood for festivities.  I spent the rest of Christmas Eve and Christmas day alone under the covers crying (more like wailing).

I think that since the 8 month mark passed and the rest of the year will just go by quickly, that has made me quite depressed lately.

Last year was the worst year I have ever experienced.

I am not going to think much about what I will do this year as I have no family in AZ and I lost his family after he died.

Carrie


teppuM999

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 134
  • i love you matthew
    • View Profile
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2009, 07:19:20 AM »
i think that's what caused me to think about it.
the tree outside is turning yellow
i don't even remember the last three months.


"Don’t say we have come now to the end. White shores are calling. You and I will meet again. And you’ll be here in my arms, just sleeping."

rita-grammy

  • nospam
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 250
  • Judi Rebecca ( Boo)
    • View Profile
    • myspace.com/ritagrammy
Re: with the holidays approaching
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2009, 09:34:40 AM »
I used to love halloween always dressed up ...did the yard the house scary video in the dark window thing...I just can't anymore...for the first time in years last year my house was dark, christmas was only there for my grandkids my daughters angel day July 22 2008 I just can't do those things anymore maybe someday we can think of the happy memories and not cry ....and remember how very lucky we were just to have in our lives...you are in my thoughts

Rita
I'll love you for always
I'll like you forever
as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be