Thanks everyone for your replys; it is so hard to make sure everyone is "content" when there is a blended family.
It was discussed several times before and after that I would be presented and keep the flag; and yes, in time, it will go back to one of his children. Jim had 8 children, 7 living; they have gotten alot, like I said, of things back. They got some things they didn't even know Jim and I had that were his mothers, their grandmothers. I didn't feel I should keep them. Some expensive jewelry, too. They were shocked, I think, to get it. Wasn't right for me to keep any of it.
There are more issues than that. Jim was married 3 or 4 times (found out after his death, that he possibly had a 4th wife), but it really doesn't matter how many times, I still Love him and Miss him so much; but it really makes it a "mess" for sorting out things. I am open with them, and they know that. I totally understand because of the age, like I said in my post; she happends to be the youngest. She is having a hard time, and we do talk some about it. Her Mom is the one that told her to tell me she should have it back; they don't have a great realationship; her mom was more worried about money, and child support, etc; and she did come to the funeral. She is remarried and has more children. Anyway ..... not going to go there, not worth it. I am, and always have been very pleasant to the Mom - she has been to our home a few times, too. When Jim's daughter got married, the groom's dinner was at our house, and then everyone came over. Between his children, they live in 3 different states.
This is tough enough without having these kinds of issue, but I knew they would come up; there is also 2 vehicles involved. One is at the house, but all is good with that, they just have to come and get it (a vet; very modified and fast) and the other is a truck, but it's in AZ and have to figure out how to get it back to MN or WI.
SoCal; Thank you, as that is how I feel, that he was to be my husband, and it means alot to me, also. But as I said, later or when I pass on, it will go back to them, and they know that.
I don't think they see me "standing" between his "stuff"; I think it's alot to do with the ages of the kids. They sometimes don't think, they just react.
Sorry to have gone on so much, but let me end by saying it is Grief, no matter how we look at it, it hurts and everyone is hurting in some form or another. Death just makes people crazy, including myself. It is tough, it is hard, it is not always fair.
I pray for some peace, understanding and strength to get through this.
Kay