Author Topic: Holidays  (Read 1844 times)

starynyte

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Holidays
« on: December 19, 2006, 04:59:05 AM »
Healing your traumatized heart-100 practical ideas after someone you love dies a sudden, violent death. by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D

page 69.

Prepare yourself for the holidays

  • Because the person who died is no longer there to share the holidays with, you may feel particularly sad and vulnerable during Christmas, Hanukka, and other holidays.
  • Don't overextend yourself during the holidays. Don't feel you have to shop, bake, entertain, send cards, etc. if your not up for it.
  • Sometimes old holiday rituals are comforting after the death, and sometmes they're not. Continue them only if they feel good to you; consider creating new ones, as well.
  • Take inventory of who you want to spend holiday time with and who you don't. I always use my "Theory of Thirds": one-third of the people in your life will neither help nor hinder you in your grief; on-third will make you feel worse for simply having been around them; and the remaining third will help you feel supported and loved. Try to seek out the later third and limit contact with the other two thirds.

Carpe Diem: What's the next major holiday? Make a game plan right now and let those you usually spend the day with know of your plan well in advance.