Life

[sevenofwands]

I thought I would post this up.  I rather liked it.


""LIFE IS A GIFT, MAKE THE MOST OF IT.

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is fragile, hold it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

- Unknown

[1wabbit1]

Although I can't comply with most of those right now, I'm going to print it out and put it on my fridge as a reminder for what I need to work on.

Thank you for posting this. I really needed a reality check.

[teppuM999]

"life is struggle" was one of matthew's mantras

[sevenofwands]

And isn't that the truth, Teppu.  It is a struggle, a great deal of the time.
There sure is no such place as Utopia.

Seven

[sevenofwands]

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." Alan Watts

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flames by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light." Albert Schweitzer

"Healing is a matter of time, but it is at times also a matter of opportunity." Hippocrates

[Donna B.]

Thanks seven for posting this, how true it is. I have printed it and I am going to get through this somehow. Thanks again. Donna

[sevenofwands]

Dear Donna:

Thank you too.  I am so glad to "see" you.  Words are inadequate at times, and you have been through so much, so just know that I do think of you.

Hugs
Seven

[sevenofwands]

""And then there are the big unhappy experiences. Losses that change our reality - a loved one dies, our heart is broken, illness strikes, dreams die, our idealistic vision is brought to an un-idealistic reality. These are the unhappy moments we have to co-exist with...maybe forever. But even during these consuming moments of unhappiness, happiness happens""

http://www.sohp.com/index.php

[kevinjj]

I've noticed more than once that when Im having a bad day, something good will usually come along too, not always but quite often it happens

[cokieslittlegirl]

I am ready for some good things to start happening in my life.  I lost 3 grandparents in 4 months (2 of which helped raise me) followed by my Dad's illness and death a year later. This one knocked me down hard.  I've lost 3 years of my life to death and grief. I can't even remember dates or things that happened in the last 3 years...they are just gone.

I am ready for the tide to change.

[teppuM999]

i don't like how the sohp calls people who don't want to hear your happy news "parade-rainers"
what if the parade-rainer in question has a reason whyyyyy they don't want to hear the happy oh-so-important news of someone who's potentially insensitive and wants everyone in the world to cheer for them when they can't find a reason to

sohp people and grieving people may not be a good combination.

[sevenofwands]

Teppu:

There are lots of other - I think useful -  bits and pieces on that website, aside from just one banner sentence.  That, I think, is just a "sound-bite". 
Because there is grief and bereavement (I've been there too!!!), does not mean that happiness is a lost cause. 
We simply cannot expect everyone else to go around looking glum, despondent and in tears, or switching to that mode immediately they are in our presence.  It is a lot to ask. 

I find it heart-warming to hear of someone's little success, or something good that happened them on x or y day.  Certainly in the midst of grief I would not want someone playing a band in my front room, or dragging me into a party. 
But, it is not other people's fault that we suffer or suffered a bereavement.

Just a thought
Best wishes
Seven

[teppuM999]

nothing i said even halfway eluded to any of that.
but that is generally the conclusion people jump to when you don't want to be a party to whatever going on in their lives.
they have a right to get tired of me being sad, but i don't have a right to avoid them because i don't want to deal with their happiness?

no happiness is not a lost cause, but people getting in your face about their lives when yours is all a mess isn't fair either. i don't think it would be wrong to expect them to think a little and not remind you of what you've lost by going on and on and on about what they have. atleast not until you're okay. which, of course, they will never know because they don't bother to ask or listen.

[sevenofwands]

I agree with you entirely, Teppu.   It isnh't fair for people to be tactless, and to go on and on about some triviality while you are feeling so awful  I would never argue that.  And yes, many people could indeed think a little, and like those peole you describe (I am assuming these are people in your immediate circle) who don't even ask ..or listen, well, what can one say.   Of course, they (indeed all of us) do need to think a little of others.
It sure says a lot more about them than about you.  Not knowing them I have no idea why they would have that sort of mindset.  I am also not a little puzzled at how they are taking so "calmly" for want of a better word, what was not just your bereavement, but also a tragic accident. 

I definitely think you are right to avoid them, if that is the sort of people they are.  And if they cannot take your being sad (it has only been a couple of weeks, for heaven's sake since your loss) then it is not just tactlessness or thoughtlessness but a serious lack of empathy.


I hope things get a little better for you each day.  I wish only the best for you. 

Seven

[sevenofwands]

"The Tender Scar" (book)

""Written by a former physician and recent widower, this warmly practical book guides the bereaved through the grief process and explains how to live after the death of a spouse. Taking excerpts from his personal journal, Dr. Mabry discusses the situations and feelings he encountered during the grief process. A valuable resource for anyone coping with the death of a loved one.
""

"Dr. Mabry waited long enough to gain some perspective before he took in hand to share the journey from grief to wholeness. He left enough bread crumbs of hope along that path to help any who come behind him in the numbness of sorrow and pain. His practical suggestions about what to do on special days shared with the lost loved one, the clothes that must be dealt with, and the way one can face the future without the guilt of being "unfaithful" the lost spouse will be of invaluable worth to all who walk alone for the first time. Any sufferer who struggles to regain one's balance will find "The Tender Scar" to speak with the authority of experience.""