Author Topic: Do we ever really forget?  (Read 8022 times)

Dena

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Do we ever really forget?
« on: August 04, 2009, 05:55:24 PM »
No.  We NEVER forget.

I will never forget 8/7/99.  Waking up from a sound sleep to pounding on the door (to this day I can't handle someone knocking on our door) to have my husband tell me that there is a police detective & the coroner at our door.  In one milli-second, our lives changed in an instant.  They asked if we knew where our son was.  I said yes and I would go and get him.  They stopped me when I got back to the door.  Josh had been a passenger on a boat during the night and the kid who was piloting this boat ran it into a steel pier.  People in the area thought that there had been an explosion. Our son was dead.  We weren't  allowed to go and identify him.  They said they knew it was him.  I remember asking "Is he in such bad shape we can't see him?".  They said no and that was the end of it.  We  found out later - much later that he was already at the Medical Center being autopsied.  We didn't see Josh until Monday afternoon. He died Saturday morning.  So for all that time, we thought he would come home at any moment.  My husband went outside that night and called for him.   So the first time I "identified" my son was in his coffin.  The next days were all in a blur. I can barely remember people being there.  We had all the news clippings and the memorial book.  But we survived.  We made it through the worst possible event of our lives.  It amazes me now. 

Every single day I meet the bravest people in the world - all in one place.  It is here, that brings me peace.  Our safe haven.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

laurenE

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2009, 06:19:51 PM »
Thinking of you this week, as you remember and relive the worst day of your life.

Sending you support and prayers.

lauren

MARTHA(CANDI'S AUNT)

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2009, 06:54:15 PM »
DENA,
   we didn't see CANDI  the night she was killed... her(father-in-law) seen her.. CANDI'S  DOG WAS IN THE WRECK WITH HER & the paramedics couldn't get to her so her (fil) went & got the dog out of the truck.. he told my sis & (bil) they didn't need to see CANDI  that night.. they went & seen her the next day..

the rest of the family got to see her that sunday. she was killed on friday night...
i'll never forget that night but i'm like you . thing's were such a blur that people say they were there but i don't remember everyone that was there.
i think we were all like "zombies"... it was horrible...
i'm glad we have each other here.
i don't know what i'd do without everyone...

sending you hug's,
martha

Marianne

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2009, 07:48:14 PM »
Dena, my heart breaks for you.  I will be thinking of you and sending you love all week.  I am so sorry.
Marianne (Alek's Mom Forever)

Dena

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2009, 01:59:44 AM »
Thank you everyone - you help so much.  The days leading up to Josh's Angel Day are the hardest and there are too many memories flying at me right now.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

browneyedgirl

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2009, 09:56:27 AM »
I know I will never forget "the day".

Thinking of you and your family this week.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2009, 11:22:30 AM »
(((( Dena)))) The days leading up are the hardest and I'm thinking of you your family and your precious Josh.. Love, Brenda

Kathy

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2009, 02:24:35 PM »
Dear Dena,

You are in my heart and  prayers.

Love,
Kathy-Don's Mom

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2009, 03:10:10 PM »
Dena, I just read your post and got tingles going down my arm. I had a similiar experience of not knowing my son Adam had passed, police, not being allowed to see my son for days, an autopsy without us giving consent....the horrific memories of that time still haunt me. I am so trigger senstive, it is so totally PTSD syndrome. Between Adam, Kate & now even my youngest Josh, I get a phone call or a knock on the door, almost any time of the day I freeze, tense up, always expecting the worst possible news.
My heart goes out to you and yours as you approach your Josh's heavenly angel date. I am sending you positive thoughts, hugs and prayers for your boy.
I don't think that I have ever thanked you for all that you do for us here on the board. I appreciate it very much.
Your Sister-in-Grief,
Paula
XOXO
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

LaVonne

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2009, 06:13:24 PM »
will be thinking of you and Josh on the 7th. holding you close to my heart and knowing I care.  It is always harder leading up to the day. hugs LaVonne

Paula, Tims Mom

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2009, 05:30:32 AM »
So sorry for the pain Dena. Wish it didn't have to be.
I posted last week but can't find it-
Anyhow, you are on my mind and Josh in my prayers along with Tim.
God Bless.
Paula, Tims Mom

Karen Paul

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2009, 05:52:30 AM »
Dena - sorry I wasn't on posting last week - the days leading up to angel dates are so so hard.. and reliving those horrible first moments and days is so frightening and sad.. i hope you were surrounded by family and friends who care during these difficult days and that you feel Josh's love and the peace that he is at now comforting you along the way..

big hugs and lots of love,
Karen
Chris' aunt

Theophila22

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2009, 06:16:44 AM »
((( Dena )))
I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your dear son.
There is nothing I can do to take your pain away, your courage and dignity have moved me greatly, thinking of you during this very difficult time for you.

Theo

tsoley

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #13 on: August 12, 2009, 06:40:45 PM »
Dena,
I am sorry I am late posting. The days leading up to the worst day in our lives are just so very hard. The anxiety and tension are horrific. I am so sorry and I pray that you had good friends and family surrounding you on 8/7. I continue to pray for you and your family.
Tammy (Jordan's Mom)

Terry

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Re: Do we ever really forget?
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2009, 07:18:30 AM »
How could we forget a moment of that day? I hope you have recouped some strength. I know how 'weak' we feel when we have to face these dates. It takes me awhile to just feel like my body can function again. It really takes so much from us. I'm so sorry, Dena.

And you're so right, there's not a lack of strength on this Board with all here and it is truly a Safe Haven! It's the only place I can come to talk about anything and no one is shocked and there's always an abundance of Compassion from the strongest group of people I've ever known.
Yes, we 'have' survived and continue to, and more than that, we live. We live with the pain, but also the beautiful memories. But, we live.

My Love,
Terry