Thanks everyone.
As Tanis and I walked around Seattle, from time to time I just wanted to grab her hand for a second, just to touch her a tiny bit, she'd let me give her a micro squeeze before reminding me "grandma, I'm 13 years old" then she'd giggle and put her arm around my waist the way Dan used to do and she'd say "I know you just love me, I love you too."
When my lil Joey sees me, he just beams and holds his chubby hands together and when I reach for him he grabs the sleeves of my shirt and kisses my cheek.
I am not faring very well right now and the 2 of them are what is keeping me from collapsing.