Author Topic: Pit in the Stomach Feeling  (Read 6601 times)

Rebecca

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 831
    • View Profile
Pit in the Stomach Feeling
« on: June 28, 2009, 07:45:03 AM »
you wait, you wait, you wait... and the it comes.  My daughter and SIL are leaving Boston for good.  For them I am having a big party for the fourth.  I am nervous.  I have always been an easy going, well, maybe not sooooooooooo easy going hostess but I always knew that Jason would stop by because he lived close.  Now it is the opposite.  Maryn is here and Jason never will.  I get this sorta sick feeling in my stomach...Yesterday I just cried and as I type this, I am tearing up and will cry soon.  The pain will never go away....and I will never know why... but it happened and there is nothing I can do, nothing... except think of and loving in my heart.
Rebecca Jason's Mom

Annie1973

  • nospam
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: Pit in the Stomach Feeling
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2009, 11:36:59 AM »
Dear Rebecca,
Your post makes me feel less crazy and i thank you for that.
Since Dan died last year I have been back to Washington 4 times (I think) and every time I have flown to and from. When I get to SeaTac, I look for Dan, evry time. When he isn't there, I feel like it doesn't matter that I am there and I cry and I go catch the Metro transit bus. Four times.  Nothing goes right anymore because Dan died. I never knew all the ways he made everything better.

I kinda wish I could come to your 4th of July party, it will be quiet here because we can't have fireworks and Brian is always gone putting out the wildfires caused by illegal fireworks.
Enjoy your day in every way you can and know I am sending you love and best wishes.
Much love,
Annie (Dans mom)

charlesafather

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 417
  • Take A Good Look, Life Is Only A Blink.
    • View Profile
    • In My Sons Memory
Re: Pit in the Stomach Feeling
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2009, 12:46:05 PM »
Rebecca;
 I can understand your feelings, O-I wish you could have the experances I have had, my last was my son Chad came to me in my dream, we talked and he ask why I cry so much I told him how much I mised his presents and the things we did togeather. he told me that he was fine and was having a good time and not to worrie about him ,then he told me not to cry anymore and then I woke up. You could imagin the feeling that overcome me, I wanted to cry  but I held back knowing what he wanted and i have wanted to cry but i think about what he told me. So for now I keep working on my faith and trying to be a better father for my other childrn. i did get a tattoo it is a heart with angel wings a eye in the heart sheading a singel tear. I promised myself that ws the last tear i had for him, I love and miss him so but I want to honor his request. i stil sometimes feel myself whealing up and I look at my tattoo and seem to calm down. I still live and share joy with my other children but I do look forward to the day when my lord and savior let us reunite.

                                  my prayers for you
                                        charles

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1219
    • View Profile
Re: Pit in the Stomach Feeling
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2009, 08:40:08 PM »
I hope once they get settled and the party is over some of the emotional rollercoaster ride you have been on will settle down a wee bit for you.
I know that change, even positive change, is still change and I find it very difficult.
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

Cheryl - Brett's Mom

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 58
  • Our Betz
    • View Profile
    • Our Betz
Re: Pit in the Stomach Feeling
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2009, 08:25:35 AM »
Oh Rebecca.... You know that we all can relate to that feeling...nothing will EVER be the same anymore!!! At every family event there is a huge empty spot, even with a room full of people!! During these times I look at Brett's bedroom door shut...and his room...silent...that isn't the way it used to be and that's NOT the way it should be!!! I sometimes pull in my driveway and cry because Brett's car is not sitting in it's usual parking place. So, yes, we DO understand....and I wish I could take your pain away...I wish we could ALL have our children back with us!!!! Thinking of you dear Rebecca, and holding you in my heart...one sad Momma to another!!!
Please light a candle in memory of our loved one Brett Ginder by visiting http://brett-ginder.memory-of.com