Author Topic: Grave Decoration  (Read 3071 times)

kevinjj

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Grave Decoration
« on: May 18, 2009, 07:40:38 PM »
My wife is buried in a rural cemetary by a church she attended as a child and all of her people are buried there. Each year, families gather and place flowers on the graves, hence the title. Sunday I went and placed 2 red roses on Betty's grave. She died 15 months ago Feb. 14, 2008. I cried hard like I hadn't done in  a while and talked to her. She lies about 1 mile from where she was born and a brother in law showed where the place used to stand, long since fallen down or torn down. It is back in the woods a ways but within easy walking distance. I am going there soon and take some of the earth from the site where she was born, born at home with a mid wife assisting, and keep it in a small cannister. I have some earth from her grave so it seems fitting. It was a hard day even though the extended family gathered for a meal afterwards and we all talked a long time. This time I could see the grief on other people's faces more easily - 4 of her brothers went before her and her parents of course. I was close to all of them. 21 yrs and 5 months to the day of memories sort of compressed and came flowing into my consciousness in  a matter of a few short minutes. Where did the time go that she was gone so quickly from me? What have I become and how will my life be? 15 months isnt that long really and her passing still burns my soul but does not rule my days like it did. She would want it that way, not to be constantly hurting. Thank you Betty for being my wife

Luvinmike

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Re: Grave Decoration
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2009, 08:00:55 PM »
Thinking of you Kevin. That is a beautiful story about her history, I'm sure your Betty was thankful for you too.
 I agree the time just slipped away. twenty-two years for us too. It seems confusing to me too, what will become of us now? It is an unknown, with no clear direction. Scary sometimes too. I wish you peace for yet another day. Or at least a comforting moment remembering a smile from your wife. And then the continued courage, that you inspire us with, to carry on and keep going Kevin. Take care, terri

carrieset

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Re: Grave Decoration
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2009, 11:04:08 PM »
Kevin:

Thanks for your beautiful story about Betty and where she is buried close to where she grew up.

It reminds me of where I grew up in the farming country of Minnesota.  We had a family cemetery 1/2 mile from our house.

We lived on a 160 acre farm and there was way back in the woods a grave site for someone from the early 1900's and the hole was still there where the house sat.

Wow........that was 30 plus years ago........living there.

Would like to push the rewind button.

Kevin, you are so sweet and have been such an inspiration & encouragement to me.  It is nice to hear from a man's perspective.    I don't totally agree with the men are from mars and women are from venus or whatever that book was........... I never had such love from my 1st husband.  20 years tanked!!!!!!!!!  Did not want it to happen, but you can only take so much abuse!!  2nd opportunity did have it for such a brief time........before cancer took over.

Bless you for being a beacon of light to us here.........

Carrie


georgiapeaches

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Re: Grave Decoration
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2009, 05:13:26 AM »
Hi Kevin
That is a nice story, I am glad you got to do those things for your Betty. I still Have Johnny ashes, one day I will scatter them, just do want to part with him yet. The future is scary but your right not as scary as it was a year ago, and I think our loved ones would be glad we feel that way. If we had to meet this way I'm glad we met, your a wonderful friend. Bless you.


Georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

Sad Eyes

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Re: Grave Decoration
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2009, 10:49:35 AM »
Hi Kevin,

Your devotion to your wife shows and I can't begin to imagine how much you miss her.  Everytime I read something that you have written it reminds me of my brother-in-law.  I know how much I miss my sister, but you have given me a different view of how her passing has affected my brother-in-law.  It's been several years since my sister passed away but my brother-in-law is still close to me and celebrates holidays at my house.  I'm really glad that you still have contact with her extended family, they are lucky to have you!!!  Take care!

Sad Eyes