Author Topic: Day After Mother's Day  (Read 3460 times)

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

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Day After Mother's Day
« on: May 11, 2009, 04:46:12 AM »
So, what did y'all do to get through the day? What worked? What didn't? Anything special like Rebecca's dream that you can share?
Myself, I had a tough 1/2 of day, no surprise there. Filled with guilt, went to visit my Mom. She was moody and wanted to come home. Hard to say no and walk away feeling less than miserable. Went to visit Adam, couldn't stay too long, never saw the cemetary so crowded before and people were gay and laughing, it was a carnival circusy sort of atmosphere-not reflective of my mood at all.
My youngest was a no show-whatever is going on with him, still is. Nothing I can do but sit back and let it play out. It goes against all of my mothering instincts, but knowing what I know from my results with Adam & Kaitlin there is nothing I can truly do.
My eldest came out, I had a different idea of what our idea together was going to be like, he brought his work so we were together but not.
Craig & I planted some of the new bushes, veggies, herbs, plants we bought, still have a lot more to do, but that simple activity of communing with nature brought me a sense of peace that finally allowed me to relax enough to enjoy the remainder of the day.
We had a nice dinner together and played a game afterwards.
Not the day I had in mind, not the day my heart wants and can never have, but it was a day. And you know what? Mother's Day is OVER-and I don't have to face it again for an entire year, so I plan on letting the anguish go as best as I can.
I hope that today is the start of a better week for me and for anyone else out there struggling.
XO Paula
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

Rebecca

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2009, 07:09:53 AM »
It is always very difficult.  I never thought Mother's Day was just a Hallmark Day but now I do.  When salespeople asked... Did you have a wonderful MD, I wanted to smack them.  It is none of their business and I really wanted to say, half was fine but losing my son is not so fine... but they just have a job to do and I understand it.  I am glad that you will be able to move on from this MD.
Rebecca Jason's Mom

jillsmom

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2009, 11:34:49 AM »
This was my first Mother's Day without both my children. I was prepared to ignore it completely, but instead I got several remembrances that helped me. A card from a friend, not "happy" mother's day but, remembering Jill and thinking of me. Calls from one of her friends and from her cousin who spoke at her funeral. A young woman at church gave me a book, Healing After Loss, that helped her when her husband died unexpectedly. This is so different from my first experience, 24 years ago, after Lizzie died. Or at least the way I remember that day. Anyway, in the afternoon I walked up to one of Jill's favorite places, a rocky outcrop where you can look out over the San Francisco bay and out beyond the Golden Gate Bridge, and had a chance to be just with her and connect with her. I hadn't felt her close earlier in the day, and now I wonder if she was too busy getting those phone calls to me!
my love to all, Kay
cooking for friends 2008

Rebecca

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2009, 06:31:32 PM »
What a pretty girl and such a lovely smile.  Hold on tight.
Rebecca Jason's Mom

Terry

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2009, 09:28:44 PM »
I was out there too, Paula, planting, adding to my babies Memorial Garden's. I, too find it very peaceful. Just good therapy. I'm glad you also felt peaceful and enjoyed your day.

All of these dates are so very hard. And heartbreaking. But, through it all, I felt my babies smiling, watching me as I planted in their Garden's and really felt as if we spent Mother's Day together again.

They always make me smile!

Terry

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2009, 11:05:55 PM »
Kay, what wonderful gifts you received on your special day. Truly awesome! I'm so happy that others reached out in loving memory.
I know "Jill" was with you, looking out over the Bay. What a beautiful spot. Thanks for sharing your afternoon and a day with wonderful surprises!

Love,
Terry

Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2009, 09:05:58 AM »
Mothers day... I woke up sobbing . It was raining. I thought of all the past mothers days and how Taylor and April made that day sooo special.... the sun came out bright later and I went to my daughters and spent the day with her and my darling two grandaughters, it was wonderful... we grilled out and my oldest grandaughter Tristin is 8, put on a dinner theatre for us outside... she sang and danced and then Emily my 2 year old grandaughter joined in... it was so cute and I felt so much love.

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2009, 03:53:31 PM »
Brenda, I 'm happy for you to feel the love. It's important to feel the sunshine amongst all of the shadows that lurk in our heart.
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2009, 06:14:38 PM »
Thank you (((( Paula))))) ...... love helps a broken heart doesn't it.......
Love, Brenda

Marianne

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #9 on: May 14, 2009, 08:47:49 PM »
It was a strange day for me.  I woke up and wondered if the day really applied to me anymore???  My husband took me whale watching in the morning.  I was wonderful.  He reminded me that I am still Alek's mom and I am so blessed with my three beautiful step daughters.  They have a mom, but forever I will be their Mom too.  I love them so much.

The rest of the day, I slept and tried to act as normal as I could.  My nerves were so itchy.  I miss my baby so very much.  Lately, it seems to grab me and I can't seem to visualize this life without him.  It is so unfair.

I made it through trying to remember that Alek will always be with me.  He is my heart and I love him more every day.
Marianne (Alek's Mom Forever)

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

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Re: Day After Mother's Day
« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2009, 04:20:09 AM »
Marianne-the day will always apply to you. We lost our angels, but we are still their Moms. It breaks all of our hearts to have a Mother's Day without them physically with us. We can still Mother them, by tending to their souls with prayers, acknowledging their brief existance by talking about them and sharing them with others. Mother's Day applies to us in a very special way.
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings