Author Topic: I lost my 9 year old sister  (Read 6830 times)

onesadgirl425

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I lost my 9 year old sister
« on: May 10, 2009, 09:18:58 PM »
I am new here, just was searching for help with grieving over my baby sisters death. My little sister Kaitlyn was more of a daughter to me. I was 16 when she was born. By the time I was 18, I was taking her shopping and watching her all the time. We were very very close. If I wasn't working, I pretty much was with her. I got pregnant in 2007 and she pretty much spent the whole summer with me. In October, her and my mother moved into my house because my mom couldn't afford to live in her house anymore. Her and my son were very close, she was like his other mommy. Lol. She was a healthy little girl, and the sweetest ever. She was spoiled, but also generous. She was my little fashionista. On April 25, 2009, she passed away unexpectedly. She was sick that morning, and I told my mom to take her to the hospital around 7:30pm. She didn't take her until after 10:30. She died on the way to the hospital. She was pronounced Dead on Arrival. They said that her bowels were ruptured. I keep on blaming myself because I wish I would have taken her earlier that day.....or I think about how scary it must of been for her to pass........ my heart is broken into a million pieces and all I want is to be with her. I sit at her grave for hours, cry constantly, and wonder if this pain will ever end. If I didn't have my two year old, I know I would have hurt myself already. I just can't get over this. I am angry with myself and God, because she was still just a baby!!!!

If anyone could give me any kind of advice or poems or words....anything is appreciated!
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georgiapeaches

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Re: I lost my 9 year old sister
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2009, 05:14:07 AM »
Dear onesadgirl,
I'm so sorry for your loss, I cant imagine the pain your in. Your sister sounds like such a little angel. This has got to be the hardest thing for you . You might benefit by visiting the child loss board even though this was your sibling, they are the most caring people on that board and they can help you with some poems and give you more insight on this than I can. I am praying for you and your family,I'm so sorry and my heart goea out to you.

Georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

Luvinmike

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Re: I lost my 9 year old sister
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2009, 04:31:16 AM »
Thinking of you one sad girl425 I am so so sorry. I'm sorry your baby sister died. It is not your fault~try to let go of what different things you would do now- that is simply grief and hindsight- everyone does it. It is normal to fell alone, scared and confused by death. In time your peaceful feelings, memories, and gratitude for having your sister will at least equal this pain. Keep the writing and poetry going and exercise. Drink lots of water. Grief depletes us so much, do you agree? Thinking of you and your family. Terri

browneyedgirl

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Re: I lost my 9 year old sister
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2009, 03:00:59 PM »
So sorry for the loss of your sister.  There are wonderful people on this site.............keep coming back, they will help you.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

onesadgirl425

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Re: I lost my 9 year old sister
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2009, 09:54:49 PM »
I have so much anger inside of me because I think it was partly my mothers fault. She just didn't take her in time. I keep on thinking that maybe if she had taken her earlier, she would still be here. I know that she wouldn't of procrastinated if it was serious, my little sister died right at the hospitals' doors. :( What a horrible death. Maybe if my mom would have taken her just ten minutes before something could have been done.

And then I blame myself because I should of just taken her earlier in the day.......

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BigSis

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Re: I lost my 9 year old sister
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2009, 06:16:59 PM »
Dear onesadgirl425

I am very sorry for your loss. I can totally understand your pain and the anguish you are going thru. My dearest brother passed away on Dec 12. We were 18 months apart and were very close till the day he died. Loss is hard and we always ask questions why the lives were cut short before their normal life span. The first few months are the hardest.

Please do not blame anyone for her passing. We don't have a lot of control over things. I am sure your mother would not have realized the seriousness of the situation. You are connected to you are sister as love never ends.  We just miss the physical presence of these beautiful souls.

Please read the other posts and do tell us more about yr sister.

BigSis

onesadgirl425

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Re: I lost my 9 year old sister
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2009, 09:08:29 PM »
We just found out today that her cause of death was an abnormal bowel............ which means she couldn't go. I am not sure how that came about but am still waiting on the medical examiners office to give full results.....

Today was really hard, I just miss her so much! She hasn't even been gone a month and it feels like its been years....
 :'(
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Sad Eyes

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Re: I lost my 9 year old sister
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2009, 10:57:03 AM »
Dear Onesadgirl425,

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister.  The "what ifs' that surround such a sudden passing only add to the pain and anguish.  I hope that talking with others who have lost loved ones can help ease your mind and bring you some peace.  Take care!!

Sad Eyes

Luvinmike

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Re: I lost my 9 year old sister
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2009, 05:05:58 AM »
Thinking of you onesadgirl, so very sorry. Death is sad and challenging for all, but losing a young loved one defies description. I am also sorry for the rest of your family, and glad you have your son to provide structure. It is exhausting to grieve and cry, and sometimes feel anger and regret. There are so many stories proving we do not control the deaths of our loved ones, I find that helpful in dealing with my own regrets. (My husband died and i feel I missed heart failure symptoms in him, as I was at the BEACH!) It is impossible to predict another course of events or outcome, futile really, since the death cannot be undone. I hope this makes sense as i hope to encourage you to grieve and accept the lost of your deeply loved sister without too much blame for yourself or your Mom. I bet most people on here wish they did something different. We are here for you. I agree with Sad Eyes that a friend who will listen is a comfort. Keep writing and tell us about your sister. Terri