Dear Penny
When I lost Jeffrey , we also lost his very first girlfriend with him, it was a double whammy, him being 21 and her being 18 and having three children so close in age and they were all friends of each other , even attended College all together.
Jeffrey's closet friend was Ryan, his family are born again christian, yet he and Jeff were inseperable despite our differencies in religious belief.
After Jeff passed I would call him every week just to make sure he was okay, and then in turn I started getting phone calls from a number of his friends, it got to a point that I had a BBQ for them all. In amongst them is Ryan's new girlfriend, whom I personally feel she is a snob and she does not like nor understand my fondess for all my kids. I call them my kids because they sometimes just stop by to say hello - to me!.
I guess after feeding them all these years and having them spend entire nights playing Counter Strike and trying to sneak off to bed at 4am, thinking I didn't know, I would get up and say anyone for breakfast. ( I so miss those days)
I have never told Ryan I do not like her but invite her always.
Sometimes by surrounding ourselves with the kids that loved our kids is more refreashing than relatives.
Even though her pain will never measure up to yours, she still hurts and she did love him and may have some regrets and by keeping you close she keeps Sean closer.
As for the holidays I do understand , Jeffrey's Birthday is two days after and I hate these holidays, someone is missing and he will be forever 21, not something that is easy to live with.
Penny do what is right in your heart, do what Sean would wanted you to do.
I think I babble more than I make sense, please take care and my thoughts are with you
Kyme "forever Jeffrey's Mom"