3 deaths...A year since the latest...finding it tough.

[dimples]

I have written here already, however this is only my second time logging on so i wasnt quite sure how to edit my last message...
I lost three people in my life. I am just turned 19. the three people were my beautiful little cuz adam who was 15 when he got knocked down while cycling his bike last summer who was the most recent of these very special people to loose their lives.
 I also lost a very close friend Dick who commited suicide at 17, This death was followed by Bob who also commited suicide a year ago.
What can I say, I suppose Bob was the hardest for me, his death in it's self unimaginable, The not saying things you wished you had is what's killing me the most I guess. I loved him, and altho he told me I never replied, I shut him out of my life numerous amount of times.
He was the very same as me, we did so much together over so many years, hurting each other enevitably many times, we were young, foolish and silly.
I miss him so much, he was so so very handsome, only 20 years old when he died.
I miss him, oh god I miss him, I need to tell him I am sorry for so much....can anyone understand?
I didn't realise how much he meant to me until he was gone. I need him. he was always there for me and he didnt even realise it.
I am currently in a relationship and we are completely and utterly in love with each other. He was Bobs best friend.
I feel like everyone else is moving on whereas I am only beggining my grieving process, I was recently diagnosed with depression caused by muntiple bereavments. I am seeing a councellor and it is really helping me however I still find it so hard right now, and I am having a particular low tonight.

[Luvinmike]

Thinking of you Dimples during this especially low time. You are so wise to seek help, and to write out all you have endured. The losses of our lives, to me, turn out to be the most important events we ever can imagine. i am so sorry for the death of your young cousin and also your two friends. Suicide is exceptionally difficult and known to create complicated grief.
 I wish you strength and courage in meeting the challenges of this grief head on. Keep going into an unknown but not unhappy future.
 Love never dies- you will always have your cousin and friends as a part of who you are. Don't blame yourself- just remember you are not that powerful, a kind or unkind word from you did not cause your friend to take his life; you are just stuck with not knowing or understanding. You are left to accept these losses. Please know that many here care and do understand. Take very good care of yourself. Sincerely, terri

[laurenE]

dimples,.

You dont have to edit your last message.  All you have to do is hit the reply button on your post and just update us.   

If its a different subject, then go ahead and post a new message w/ a new title.

let me know if you have any more technical questions.