Seven and Flamingo Fred:
Thanks for your posts. It's such a long story. I told a couple close friends awhile ago it was like I got caught in the middle of a nightmare with all that transpired with his kids and even with L losing some of his brain and radiation damage after 5 surgeries.
It was really his daughter who was against me as she is a very A type personality who took over after her dad died. Her younger brother was kind to me but she could puppet him around pretty good. His daughter just happens to really love her dad's x girlfriend and she never got to know me as she lives in Nebraska and we are in Arizona.
His daughter's biggest concern was what was I going to get from her dad after he died? After L was diagnosed with 3 inoperable tumors in June, she called me and ripped me a new one about "what my intentions were towards her dad?" I had been with him at that point for 3.5 years and she knew that. Bottom line it had to do with money. His house was paid for, he had no debt, 3 vehicles, life insurance for his kids, other investment accounts, many very valuable things he owned, a recording studio worth a fortune.........
Apparently she thought I would get his will re-done and take everything from them or I would end up being in control of his "things" and she wouldn't. I've read many other posts on this site and others about this sort of thing going on. Amazing, isn't it?
I did go to his memorial, that's all. His X girlfriend held the "reception" at her home afterwards and I was not invited!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just went home alone and his 5 kids and others went to her house. I bet they thought that was bizarre as I knew his other kids and they liked me!!!
Frankly, I don't think the 2 oldest kids really cared for their dad too much as he and his 1st wife split when they were young and their mother moved to another state with them. He remained where he was for his job, paid his support, but didn't see them much, so there is resentment, bitterness there.
Dysfunction, yes, in my family, too, but I can say that if my dad was dying, I would have said "move over" and laid right down next to him and talked to him. Didn't have the greatest upbringing with my "strict" dad, but love him to pieces and wouldn't let him leave this life without giving him that comfort of how much I loved him and thanking him for what he did do. It's called forgiveness!!
The good part for me is that I am no longer dwelling on what the kids did. L would have been very unhappy to know what transpired after he died and I believe he somewhat cognizant of their not spending any time with him in the 2 months when he was dying. Thankfully, he doesn't have to think about that anymore...
Thanks for listening again,
Carrie
P.S. Am only dwelling on that "ache" that won't go away!!!!!