Author Topic: Hello my friends...  (Read 4265 times)

Michelle C

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Hello my friends...
« on: April 27, 2009, 04:13:40 PM »
I just wanted everyone to know that I was thinking of them.. I haven't been on here in a few weeks.. I've been trying to deal with everything that has been thrown my way... Life is still the same.. still soooo sad and missing my Clarence so very much.. I go to his gravesite every week.. sometime twice a week and I cry and I scream because it's so unfair... I think the Only thing that I come to terms with is that he is really not coming back...no matter what I do or how good I am.. He is gone... So now what I ask??? Im not sure.. I am just trying to hang on and stay above water...
Love, prayers, and many thanks to my friends...

Michelle

sonya_lonely

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2009, 06:28:32 PM »
Dear Michelle,
I am so so sorry for what you are going through.I completely understand what you must be feeling,going through...You must b missing him and feeling incomplete,must be finding a way if he can come back...we only hear life is like this and like that but at these points in our lives,when we go thru something like this we feel and realise how even more difficult it is!!
I wish you courage and strength to face it!!My prayers are always with you...With each and everyone out here,
You keep sharing we all are here ..Hugs,
Sonya

Luvinmike

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2009, 08:05:45 PM »
Good to see you posting Michelle, I like the STAR photo on your posts.
      You make a beautiful couple and I am so sorry you are missing your Clarence. I guess that awful word ,"Acceptance," is all about learning that we cannot change this. i so understand all of what you say about being good, or doing this or that- yet they are still not returned to us, not in their earthly form as we want them.
      I cry every day still, but I do accept this most of the time now, and that can help with daily life. Sending you strength and care during these dark and lonesome hours.
      Keep caring for yourself- and know that we all care about you. Write again, when you feel like it. Terri

Jeanne

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2009, 11:14:11 AM »
I  go to the grave 1 time a week.It is so pretty here today and i know Mike would have loved to been working in our yard.I am in the numb feeling stage now-not crying as much-but just having feelings of hopelessness-

georgiapeaches

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2009, 06:01:36 PM »
Hi Michelle,
Glad to see your back and doing ok. Stay well, your in my prayers.

georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

carrieset

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2009, 11:01:51 PM »
Hi all:

I don't have any of Laurence's ashes.  His 2 oldest kids never even asked what I wanted; re his memorial; his cremation, etc.

His X girlfriend of 23 years ago was offered his ashes (by L's oldest daughter as they are good friends);  X did not take any of them; they went to his 20 year old daughter.

I was not even invited to the cemetary for the 21 gun salute.  His X of 23 years was there, though.  I didn't care anyway, as everything that transpired while he was still here with his 2 oldest was not fun.  They didn't spend 10 minutes with him during the 2 months he was dying.  More concerned with his estate which I had to explain to them.  They froze him for a week after he died in his hospital gown and only allowed "family" to seem him.  I was not invited.  Didn't care anyway.  Was there when he was alive and "warm"; they weren't.

I was with him for almost 4 years, in great health and horrible sickness.  Am trying not to be bitter about it , but sure would love to tell his 2 oldest off.

Pray for me..........

Carrie

sevenofwands

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2009, 09:37:23 AM »
Hello Carrie:

Reading your post, I am just blown away.  The behaviour of your Laurence's family beggars description.  The question I ask is: why would they take against you like this?  You loved L, he loved you, and you nursed him tirelessly and selflessly for all that time.  You were essentially part of his family.  I am perplexed as to why they would take into consideration an X-GF of 23 years ago, and not you. 
Leaving aside anything else, because of the way you cared for and nursed Laurence, this would be reason enough to ask you to the ceremony, or at least that is what civilized behaviour would demand.  I am amazed at what you say.

So sorry for all you are going through.
All the best
Seven

flamingofred

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2009, 08:09:53 PM »
It is hard to explain dysfunction.  I truly believe that you had a role in his life and that was to care for him and you did that and you can sleep at night and feel good about yourself.
you have been victimized by his death and victimi\ed by their actions.  Just remember how you helped him in his transition and that was it was about.

Be strong as i am sure that you already are.


carrieset

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2009, 10:54:54 PM »
Seven and Flamingo Fred:

Thanks for your posts.  It's such a long story.  I told a couple close friends awhile ago it was like I got caught in the middle of a nightmare with all that transpired with his kids and even with L losing some of his brain and radiation damage after 5 surgeries.

It was really his daughter who was against me as she is a very A type personality who took over after her dad died.  Her younger brother was kind to me but she could puppet him around pretty good.  His daughter just happens to really love her dad's x girlfriend and she never got to know me as she lives in Nebraska and we are in Arizona. 

His daughter's biggest concern was what was I going to get from her dad after he died?  After L was diagnosed with 3 inoperable tumors in June, she called me and ripped me a new one about "what my intentions were towards her dad?"  I had been with him at that point for 3.5 years and she knew that.  Bottom line it had to do with money.  His house was paid for, he had no debt, 3 vehicles, life insurance for his kids, other investment accounts, many very valuable things he owned, a recording studio worth a fortune.........

Apparently she thought I would get his will re-done and take everything from them or I would end up being in control of his "things" and she wouldn't.  I've read many other posts on this site and others about this sort of thing going on.  Amazing, isn't it?

I did go to his memorial, that's all.  His X girlfriend held the "reception" at her home afterwards and I was not invited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just went home alone and his 5 kids and others went to her house.  I bet they thought that was bizarre as I knew his other kids and they liked me!!!

Frankly, I don't think the 2 oldest kids really cared for their dad too much as he and his 1st wife split when they were young and their mother moved to another state with them.  He remained where he was for his job, paid his support, but didn't see them much, so there is resentment, bitterness there.

Dysfunction, yes, in my family, too, but I can say that if my dad was dying, I would have said "move over" and laid right down next to him and talked to him.  Didn't have the greatest upbringing with my "strict" dad, but love him to pieces and wouldn't let him leave this life without giving him that comfort of how much I loved him and thanking him for what he did do.  It's called forgiveness!!

The good part for me is that I am no longer dwelling on what the kids did.  L would have been very unhappy to know what transpired after he died and I believe he somewhat cognizant of their not spending any time with him in the 2 months when he was dying.  Thankfully, he doesn't have to think about that anymore...

Thanks for listening again,

Carrie

P.S.  Am only dwelling on that "ache" that won't go away!!!!!

carrieset

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Re: Hello my friends...
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2009, 09:01:35 PM »
Michelle:

Just realized today that somehow I hijacked your post rambling on about things irrelevant to what you posted.

Sorry, please forgive me! 

Love,

Carrie