Author Topic: Memorial Day thoughts  (Read 3972 times)

YoungerSis

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Memorial Day thoughts
« on: May 25, 2009, 04:30:42 PM »
Went to my sister's gravesite this weekend, and it is hard to believe she has been gone a month already!  I still cannot bring myself to watch the DVD I received from her hospice nurses - with pictures of her life and some really sad songs.  I feel guilty for having fun over the weekend at cookouts, and out on the Lake.  Why did she have to get that horrible disease?  Why not someone else - some horribly mean person, not my easy going, personable, loving, and caring sister!!! 

For two weeks after she died, there was so much support:  cards and flowers and gifts and words of sympathy.  Then it all suddenly stopped, and everyone goes back to their own lives.  Does that mean that I am supposed to go back to my normal routine, and stop grieving?

Just wanted to thank all of you for this very helpful forum, and to offer my thoughts as Memorial Day weekend comes to a close ......


onesadgirl425

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Re: Memorial Day thoughts
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2009, 07:22:15 PM »
The hardest part to me is after everyone leaves. That's when you really start to grieve. I lost my 9 year old sister (I am 25) a month ago today........and it comes in spells. Some days are okay, some days are horrible.

If you need to talk message me.
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Sad Eyes

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Re: Memorial Day thoughts
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2009, 05:03:14 AM »
It seems that people expect us to be over our loss once the funeral is over.  People seem uncomfortable whenever I bring up my family. Talking about my family and remembering the good times is what helped in my healing process.  My losses are no longer new like both of yours are, but I still feel the impact of their deaths daily.  Onesadgirl425 and Youngersis I hope being here on this site will bring you comfort and peace.


Sad Eyes

Jeanneb

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Re: Memorial Day thoughts
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2009, 06:16:15 AM »
I know if it was me I wouldn't be able to look at the DVD but I also know you will be glad one day to have that DVD.

Yes, people just keep moving although for us our world has just stopped. 

If you were able to go on with your "normal" routine then I'd worry about you.  Grief is something we have to go through... not around, not over but through.  Don't worry about what "other" people do or think... just worry about what you need to do. 

There is no timetable to grief and do not let anyone impose their feelings on to you.  We each grieve in our space and time.

Hold on tight,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister

YoungerSis

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Re: Memorial Day thoughts
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2009, 10:10:13 AM »
I too, feel that now I want to talk about my sister, and no one really wants to listen like they did in the days or weeks following the funeral.

And you're right, I am so glad to have the DVD of memories, although I do not know when I will look at it next.

Everything feels so difficult and abnormal lately, that if I do have a good moment or a halfway decent day, I will enjoy it and consider myself blessed.

It helps so much to talk to all of you !!!


browneyedgirl

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Re: Memorial Day thoughts
« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2009, 01:08:44 PM »
So sorry for your loss.  thanks for replying to my post. 

Hope you are doing well.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven