Author Topic: Time Heals All Wounds?  (Read 4252 times)

browneyedgirl

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Time Heals All Wounds?
« on: May 27, 2009, 09:16:42 AM »
"They" (I don't know who "they" is, but... :)) say time heals all wounds.  I thought my greif about Tony would start to ease, but it hasn't.  I cry for no reason....at work, in the shower, blow drying my hair, in bed at night, just talking to people, and not even about Tony. ??? ???  I feel like I am crying more than I did when he first died.  Friday will be 2 months since he left us. I miss him so much.  :'( :'( :'(

This event in my life has changed me.  It has effected my relationship with almost everyone in my life, from my parents to my boyfriend.  I am so angry.  >:(  Angry that he is not here, angry that he should have been with us over Memorial Day, angry that my boyfriend does not seem to understand why I am said and angry.  Why doesn't he get it?  He had a twin that died at birth, but somehow, that does not seem to be the same thing to me.  Although I am sad it happened to him, it's just not the same.  I spent 31 years with Tony.   

I hope it gets better soon, but I am thinking that it won't.  However, with my thoughts on that path, I am sure it never will. 
Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

YoungerSis

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Re: Time Heals All Wounds?
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2009, 10:16:32 AM »
I am so worry for what you are going through!  I don't know if time "heals" all wounds because I do not think we will ever forget or "get over" our grief.

It has been a month since my sister died, and I feel a whole myriad of feelings like sadness, emptiness, and anger like you do.  Does this mean we are going through all of the so-called stages of grief in no particular order?

I hope you find peace and comfort in this forum.....

Jeanneb

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Re: Time Heals All Wounds?
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2009, 10:20:30 AM »
((((browneyedgirl))))

I have to tell ya I just hate that saying.  I have often wondered myself... who the heck is "they"???

You stated it has only been 2 months... you are soooooooooo early in the journey.  Give yourself a break, you are grieving and that can take as long as it takes.  Forget there is a timetable .... cause there isn't.

I think you find yourself crying more because it is sinking in... he really is gone.  This is so terribly hard to even try to grasp.  The anger... is perfectly normal.  When my son died I would drive home from work daily, crying, screaming and beating my fist on the steering wheel.  I can only imagine what must have been going through the minds of those driving past me.

Grief does affect you in every way possible.  Your world has been turned upside down and it hurts... it hurts a lot.  So let yourself cry, feel what you need to feel.  You can't go around this, you can't bypass your grief for one day it does catch up with you and it is better to learn to walk through it then to come back to it years from now.

The first year is hard with all those firsts.  As the song says... love hurts.... it does there is just no way around it.  Find an outlet for your anger... whether it be exercise or just going outside and screaming your lungs out.

While there are "stages" of grief, there is no right or wrong way to go through them and there is definitely no order to it.  You can have anger now and certainly months from now feel that anger again. The empty spot will always be there, nothing can fill it.  Yet, you learn somehow to live with it.  Grief is like an ocean... it comes in waves...some knock  you completely off balance while others just keep you a float.

Just remember... one breath, one minute at a time.

Love,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister

georgiapeaches

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Re: Time Heals All Wounds?
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2009, 03:19:15 PM »
Dear Browneyedgirl,
You are so early in your grief, it is so normal for you to feel the way you do. MY husband died one year ago, and my mom last Nov. I sit and watch t.v. and I cry, people tell me stories and I cry. Then there are other days when I feel great, you said it right, we are different people now and sometimes other people in our life just dont understand. Try to take it day by day, dont be to hard on yourself, let yourself cry, but take care of yourself. I hope you feel better.

Georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

MelissaCharliesMom

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Re: Time Heals All Wounds?
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2009, 07:28:11 PM »
UGH!!!!Time heals all wounds? Thats bunk, time does nothing but pass, thats all time does and with that passing the pain changes, but it never truly leaves us...sending you strength for the days ahead.