Author Topic: In Memory of Tammy Kay Banks & Janie Lou Seals  (Read 3741 times)

Auntnay

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In Memory of Tammy Kay Banks & Janie Lou Seals
« on: March 18, 2009, 12:04:56 AM »
I am yet again wide awake. I haven't been able to sleep well for many weeks now. On November 25th 2008 :'( my husband answered the phone. I could tell by his face that it was bad. My sister who was a year younger than I am had a Massive Heart Attack & died in her home. She was only 43 yrs old.
We had lost our Beloved Mother to Ovarian Cancer on November 29th 2003. I spoke to my sister often on the phone, usually every day, some days 2 or 3 times a day. Our last phone call was the day before she died. She called me crying & very upset. Tammy told me she was having a really tough time grieving over Mama. The 29th was in 5 days and she told me to please be with her because the 29th was going to be a very sad day. I would never in my wildest dreams have thought that we would be burying my Beautiful Baby Sister on the 29th instead.
Tammy was the apple of our Mama's eye. We all said that their umbilical connection had never been severed.
Tammy lived next door to Mama & they did almost everything together. When Mama was diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer we all just fell apart but it hit Tammy the hardest. I am a Nurse so I took over as Primary Caregiver. We both promised Mama we would never leave her alone which was her biggest fear. Our Father had died suddenly in a car accident in 1982 leaving my Mama a young widow with 4 kids. I drove her to all of her appointments, sat with her during Chemo sessions, and held her hand during the horrible episodes after Chemo. Tammy was with us of course but many times she would be so incapacitated by her fear that she would wait in another room. Tammy suffered from Panic attacks which made her suffering all the worse.

I miss them both so much I feel like I can hardly breathe. I spend most days crying. I rarely go out of the house now, only when I am forced to for groceries or an important appointment. My husband & I could never have children so my Sister & my Mama were 2 huge pieces of my life.  I am just so unbearably sad and in pain.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2009, 12:15:58 AM by Auntnay »

BigSis

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Re: In Memory of Tammy Kay Banks & Janie Lou Seals
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2009, 05:30:11 PM »
Hi Auntnay

Very sad to read yr posting. I can understand yr intense grief. My dearest brother died suddenly at age 48 from a sudden heart attack Dec 2008.  Death came swiftly and took him away with no second chances. He was the sweetest person. My mom passed away 3 years ago Feb 2006 and we were barely recovering from her passing.

You should read the stories on the board. We are all going through different stages of grief. The pain of loosing a dear one so young makes you feel that someone robbed you. Our siblings are our best friends and we should be grateful that we had such loving kind angels in our lives.

You should heal and recover from this loss and be strong for the rest of the family.  Try going for long walks and meditating and praying. All of this is helping me .

I am posting this lovely poem that was sent to me by a dear kind soul.

Those we hold most dear
never truly leave us...
they live on in the kindness they showed,
the comfort they shared
and the Love
they brought into our lives

Take care

BigSis.

georgiapeaches

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Re: In Memory of Tammy Kay Banks & Janie Lou Seals
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2009, 06:04:17 PM »
Dear Auntnay,
I am so so sorry for your loss. I dont know what I would do without my sister. I also lost my mom, so I do lean on my sister alot. I'm so sorry you are in so much pain and wish there was someway I could help. I wish you peace and send you prayers.

Georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

Jeanneb

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Re: In Memory of Tammy Kay Banks & Janie Lou Seals
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2009, 07:13:10 AM »
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister and your mother.

I can imagine how much you miss them... just so very sad. 

Now they are together again and your sister's panic attacks are gone.  I hope that each day you find a beautiful memory to help you through. 

Grief can just be so overwhelming at times.   I hope you will just lean into it... feel it... go with those feelings.  It is a lot of work this thing we call grief... hold on tight and please keep coming and posting.

Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister