Author Topic: Losing Chris  (Read 3598 times)

Aislin

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Losing Chris
« on: March 09, 2009, 10:53:02 PM »
I'm Aislin and my older brother Chris died April 2006. I know it's been almost 3 years but i am so lost and i don't know what to do.
He was 21 and i was 16.

I miss him so much, he was the best person I have ever know and will ever know. We never got along, like most siblings, but he made me who I am today and I miss him so so much. For those 3 years i've been feeling so many things. Anger, because I'm left alone in this shitty little world by myself. Saddness because he didn't deserve it, and happiness because I know he is in a better place. I wish all the time it was me instead of him, because he would of made the most out of life, while I don't. It pains me so much that I have to go through life without him by my side.
I don't know what to do... I don't know what will happend with me without him being there. It's just so unfair... Any advice? Anyone who has gone through the same thing? How did you go on?

='[

georgiapeaches

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Re: Losing Chris
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2009, 04:55:10 AM »
Dear Aislin,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, I didnt loose a sibling, I did loose my husband and my mother , my father past away 9 years ago so in a sense I feel like I lost everything. My brothers and sisters are alot older than I am and live far apart so we dont talk to much. I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain, how about your parents? are you close with them? do you have any other siblings? I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, something to make you feel better. Sending you prayers for you and your family. I hope you can fine some peace and comfort. Please come back and post some more.

Georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

Luvinmike

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Re: Losing Chris
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2009, 05:06:08 AM »
Dear Aislin;
     I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure it is lonely to be missing your older brother for three long years. I have lost my husband. I don't have any foolproof advice, just going on by trying to stay healthy. I struggle alot with those feelings you described so well- of your brother making the most of life while you don't. I had a therapist and friends to help me feel more confident after our loss. I felt the same way- that my Mike should be here as he had such a joy for life- and all I do is crawl along it seems. I even wanted our kids to have him and not me. Two things have helped with this, one is building up my confidence through decent friends and family to talk with, doing well at work, and now planning a golf tournament to donate money to sports association in our city- in my husband's name. I like doing good deeds and donating in his name- time or money. I find it helps me keep his goodness going even while he is in heaven. I notice that it is good to have balance- some days work really hard, other times be quiet and restful. Mostly try to build up confidence that you are important just like your brother. I bet Chris would want you to be happy and do some exciting things with your life. Do you have parents, or friends that are supportive? Do you have ideas of what you would like to do as you must be about nineteen now right? It probably seems so confusing now because of your severe grief and because of your age- this is a confusing time in anyone's life. I guess that is one benefit of getting older- you become more comfortable with yourself. You will get there, mainly by following your instincts and your heart for what feels right for you. I can tell you how sorry I am and we all are that you are missing Chris. So sorry. Deep breaths and baby steps... Terri

Jojobanono

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Re: Losing Chris
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2009, 10:10:01 PM »
I hate this world too and wish that it was me who had gone. My older sister died on christmas day this year, just a few months ago and im 14. I think everyday why it was her who got the syndrome and had to live  with the pain every day. I always would like to talk to someone who is going through the ame thing

My sister erin used to always push through every thing, recently she was getting sick of her heart problems getting in the way of her everyday life especially went we went on a very small vacation. The hospital was her second home and she hated it deeply.

Luvinmike

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Re: Losing Chris
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2009, 07:26:08 PM »
(((Jojo)))) Hoping you carry on with courage, like your sister had to. Please know I am sending you my prayers of strength and peacefulness. It is so confusing to me also why some people get sick and not others. I guess it is a question of faith and becoming comfortable with not knowing the exact answers to these questions. I am sorry you are hurting. You and your family are in my thoughts. Write and tell us more about you and your sister when you can. Sincerely, Terri