My heart is heavy for you now, it is hard, no doubt about, the terrible anger, I never experienced that with other people who died in my life, but this time I an angry, yelled and acted crazy in my bosses office, angry at everyone, but slowly I had to look at managing the feelings, processing in a healthier way, I write, read and do positive things for myself, that anger is natural, but acting out and hurting yourself is not a way out or though this horrendous time. Type all night if you have to, that hurt in your chest as if someone had hit you with a sledgehammer in your chest will subside as if you had gone through an intensive operation and had to endure severe pain, with a little time it began to hurt less, well you will find ways to release that anger in positive ways. Please know that we all care here.
Cid