Author Topic: new person-hurting alot  (Read 113450 times)

cecilia

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #135 on: April 07, 2010, 08:52:07 AM »
Hello all,  I lost my husband/best friend feb 17, 2010. We were together 25 years. How to go on now. I don't know. We have 6 kids. so I have a house full.................But I am still so lonely...always missing him...................I am so sorry for all of your losses................
I  just don't understand any of this my husband was young and we never knew he was that sick. One day out shopping the next day he couldn't wake all the way up.....then he passed .....WHY...........I hate this.....We did everything together..... He had been disable due to a work accident 11 yrs ago. So all our time was spent together.....This pain is so unbareable...............Sorry
cecilia

flamingofred

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #136 on: April 08, 2010, 06:53:26 PM »
cecelia

The pain is unbearable right now but i can say that it does get less.  If we didn't love so hard we wouldn't hurt so bad, how can it be wrong to love.

Flamingo Fred

cecilia

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #137 on: April 09, 2010, 06:42:46 PM »
Thank you flamingofred.....

flamingofred

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #138 on: April 18, 2010, 08:12:51 PM »
This week would have been out third wedding anniversary.  Time goes by so fast.  I miss L so much.  Getting up each day is a little easier but i still wish he was here.

closs86

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #139 on: April 24, 2010, 10:39:26 PM »
Hi
I know how you are feeling, I lost my husband April 6, to pancreatic cancer, We were also soulmates, we were married 43 years, I am lost and in shock,  I am so sorry for your loss, I understand your pain, I am numb now and feel dead myself inside.  I also was with him when he passed, and also saw the pain and anxiety he went through, it was horrible, My husband was 60, young and very strong, until this monster got hold of him and in 7 weeks total he was gone. I just can't believe it.  I will pray for you and all of us here on this site, we are all suffering.
God Bless
Karen

flamingofred

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #140 on: April 28, 2010, 06:13:15 PM »
Dear closs86

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  You are a brave woman, and I know that because I know exactly what you went through.  You helped your husband to move on and even though it hurst like hell now truly it will get better.
Some days are better than others.

I too will pray for you.

Flamingo Fred

flamingofred

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #141 on: May 03, 2010, 12:00:04 PM »
I am currently unemployed have been for two weeks, had to quit my job baed on my moral values and ethics, but anyway, need to find a job soon, being home is hard with no structure.  I think more of the memmories of my late husband- get more upset.  I generally love my memories but these ones are of his sickness etc.  I need the structure of a job as this keeps me more positive and decreases my feelings of lonliness.

Also have been thinking about what is in my future.  I want the intimacy that I had with Larry but L was my soulmate so again what is in my future.

I know that the answer is to give it to God but I just can't help thinking about htat.

Flamingo Fred

poppy

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #142 on: May 06, 2010, 08:01:53 PM »
Hello,

I haven't been on this site very long. I lost my Greg to a heart attack 4 weeks ago today. It is hard to go on without him. I go to work but coming home is torturous. I hate going up to bed at night. He was such a vital part of our family and it seems so hard to go on without him.

Poppy

closs86

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #143 on: May 07, 2010, 09:34:23 PM »
Hi Poppy
   So very sorry for your loss, I also lost my husband April 6, but from sudden aggressive pancreatic cancer,  I just don't know what to say, I know the pain you are going through, it hurts so much, i can hardly breathe sometimes,  I go around like a robot, going through the motions, without thinking, mindless, and dead inside.  I don't understand why these things have to happen.  so sad
I wish you the best
take care
karen

barbp

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #144 on: May 08, 2010, 08:49:30 AM »
Poppy,

it is 4 weeks for me today since Jeff passed away. Just like you I do ok when I am around people, but being home alone is crushing. I cry all the time and just have this empty feeling inside of me. Most of the time it feels like my head is in a fog.

Going to sleep in the bed he died in is so hard. We had such a good, close relationship and I can't imagine the rest of my life without him. Even though we only had 17 months together, it always felt to us as if we knew each other forever.

I don't know how I can move on, not sure if I even want to. :(
In loving memory of Jeff 2/18/57 - 4/10/10

MomILoveYou

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #145 on: May 10, 2010, 06:20:53 PM »
Hi there my name is Luke I live in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I just turned 28 on April 15th. I'm sry for your loss flamingo red, I recently lost my mom on April 1st 2010. She passed away in hospital with me and the rest of my family around her, she was unconscious, but I know her spirit knew we were there with her. The reason for her passing away was that she aspirated on food. This means that when she was eating, she swallowed food wrong into her lung passage and it blocked her airway. The night that it happened she was not feeling well and had taken her sleep aid to help with her pain so she could fall asleep in the car on the way home(she had 2 major bone and muscle diseases), my dad found her outside beside my car, she was alone outside eating a burger for all but 2-3 minutes.. He came running in and told me to go help him and that my mom had passed out in the lane way. I tried to help my mom and give her CPR, but I panicked, I don't feel that I did things right.. and the Paramedics took a very long time coming to my house. They also did many things wrong and could have probably saved her life had they not taken so long and did many things backwards She had gone without oxygen for a long time so her brain suffered alot of damage. After quite a few minutes they managed to get her vitals back and brought her to the hospital, She was in hospital for a total of about 3 days. During this time there were test conducted, and I must say the way that the doctor treating my mom acted hurt me very much and not all but some of her nurses were not so pleasant. This whole thing has been extremely hard for me, not that it is about me.. but now I have lost an amazing mom. I think about it every minute of everyday and I just spent my first birthday and mother's day without my mom. Sometimes I feel like im going crazy because of how in shock I still am about all of this happening, I had to watch my sweet caring mother pass away in the hospital. I guess part of me is still in denial that my best friend is gone to heaven so early, she was only 53 she would have been 54 in July. I miss my mom so much and am I totally heartbroken, me and my mother were extremely close and she was a strong woman and was always there for me, even when she was going through so much God and her family were her life, she truly was a super mom. I can't tell you how many times I wished I could have replaced her with myself in the hospital over those 3 days, part of me thinks I'm to blame for what happen because I didn't help her right it seems and I gave her the food she choked on. I forgive the paramedics for messing up but its hard not to think about it. I really can't see my life without my mom. I have been struggling now for 6 solid weeks. I have 2 little girls that need their daddy and I have been doing my best to care for them (not an easy task). I miss and love my mom so much and I can't begin to tell you how empty I feel that part of my life and me as a person has died. I always told my mom whenever she would pass away, I didn't know if I could handle it. I fight everyday to stay stable even though most days I think I'm getting worse and losing my fight. I try my best in honor of my MoM and God, because I know both of them would want me to try my best that and I'm a christian, so I know I'll see my mom soon enough in heaven. If I can say one thing I must say, I don't think anything can compare to losing your mother the person that raised you and made you the person you are today. My mother taught me well and everything she did teach me I'll never forget I miss her smile and she sweetness and her tight loving hugs. I just want my mom back.. but I know it can't happen till I see her in heaven. I guess all I have to say is i might not know exactly how everyone of you feels.. but I know I understand totally and feel the same pain you do. I just pray that well all get through our loss and have strength to get through each day. Take care all, my God bless and touch your heart as you deal with loss.

Luke~~

flamingofred

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #146 on: May 11, 2010, 02:35:22 PM »
To Luke and others suffering.  luke I am sure that you did the best you could for your mom.  I think that when someone dies we all take some responsibility and say we could have done something different I know that that is the case in my situation. 
I believe that God said it was time for your mom to come to him, she had completed her mission here on earth and obviously one of the missions is raising a great son.
She is also not completely gone, she is in your heart.

If I can suggest, just take one day at a time - go through your feelings - hold and hug your daughters when you are feeling sad.

When things get hard for me I always think about the courage that my husband showed when he was sick and dying and figure if he could have that courage then i should to go on.

Take care.

Flamingo Fred

closs86

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #147 on: May 11, 2010, 04:33:35 PM »
Hi Luke
  I understand the shock you are talking about, My husband passed away suddenly in 3 weeks, and I am still numb and can't believe it.
   It takes time to make it real, not that we want to because I don't, but thats what I hear.  It is horrible to lose anyone that you love,  and like you lost your mom is very shocking, at least I had 3 weeks to hear them telling me that he wasen't going to live.
    If you need to talk to your doctor, maybe he can help you find some grief support groups in your area, they do help, I am very sorry for your loss,
    They tell me one day at a time, that is all we can do, we don't really have a choice
Take care
Karen

flamingofred

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #148 on: May 12, 2010, 04:46:54 PM »
Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night and go over the sympathy cards, and pictures of Larry and I - I cry and then go back to bed.

In Sept will be two years, I can't believe it. I still expect him to come through the front door.

Living hurts less but still hurst without him.

Flamingo Fred

closs86

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Re: new person-hurting alot
« Reply #149 on: May 12, 2010, 07:01:43 PM »
Hi Flamingo Fred,
       I have his pictures all over the bedroom, it makes me feel like he is here with me,  Today was a bad day for me from the minute i got up, I just wanted to get back in bed, but I did push myself and went to work, it still was a bad day but at least I was with people, Now I am happy that it is almost bedtime, look forward to sleeping.
        I don't think we will ever get used to the idea that they are not coming home anymore,
Good Night
Karen