Author Topic: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson  (Read 6868 times)

Michelle C

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A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« on: February 22, 2009, 12:02:01 AM »
TODAY
by Lyndie Sorenson
Today it hurt like yesterday...
tomorrow will be the same
Only the day and date will change...
the rest will all remain.

When someone asks me how I am...
or what it is I do?
The answer to those questions are...
I wish I were with you.

There is no way to explain this pain...
or how it is I feel
I try to get up every day...
and somehow try to deal.

Although it seems as if I'm fine ...
I've learned how to just hide
I place a mask upon my face...
and keep it deep inside.

I cry when no one is around...
can't face what they might say
I have heard so many hurtful words...
I have felt so very betrayed.

They think time heals everything...
but that just is not true
I know I will not heal...
being left here without you.

Each morning when I wake up...
the sorrow is still here
I wish this was some big mistake...
that I have lived for years.

All I have are pictures ...
and my many memories
That often are so painful...
that never will be eased.

I long to have you back with me...
but know it won't come true
I will never have that life again...
that life with me and you.

georgiapeaches

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2009, 03:30:17 AM »
Michelle, that was very beautiful, so true.

Georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

sevenofwands

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2009, 07:50:51 AM »
Sad in the extreme.

Seven

shhh65

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2009, 08:42:30 AM »
Today marks 14 months. I'm away from home. It's cold where I live and I'm on a beach vacation. The weather is beautiful but the hurt remains. Although I have part of my family with me, I still feel so alone most of the time. I am moving forward with my physical being and I know God is strenghtening my spiritual being but my "heart" is gone and I fear it will never return.

Thank you for posting the poem. It is new to me.  I'm sure many here will think they could have written it themselves.

Sherry
Sherry

Psalms 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

friedgen

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2009, 10:26:58 AM »
It is so sad, but sooooo true.  It will be 7 months on the 6th of March.  I to as the poem says, sometimes feel I must wear a mask.  I feel as if people are getting tired of seeing me sad.  So many friends and family telling me to move on and create a new chapter in my life.  That is just so hard to comprehend.  A huge part of me has died and the happiness in me drained.  I just go through the motions to take care of my wonderful children and make the outside world happy.  All I know is that I can hang on because I have to.  To be truly happy again is something completely different.  That seems to be what the people on the outside do not seem to get.  Hugs and strength to all that are here.


Friedgen

Jap Jr

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2009, 10:54:34 AM »
michelle;

what a beautiful poem with so much intensity and emotion; could have been written by me - you captured so much.

was 3 months yesterday, and was not a good day. Went to church this morning and cried through the whole service, and still was walking to my car. Sat in the car for 10 minutes just crying and screamed; thought I should stop at a family's house because I was having a hard time, but no one was home either place I tried. Was going to the store, but cell phone rang and was a friend to let me know her & her husband are coming for a vist in March; asked if I was OK, as I was crying when I answered and said no, I miss Jim so much. She said she understood that, but we have to go on; was surprised to hear her say that. They just got back Wednesday from a week in the Jamaica; was happy for them, but sure didn't help to hear about it right then; stopped crying and usd "happy voice"; just came home. Could not go to the store.

It's the couples that I see that make me hurt so much; even in church. Father talked about when he goes to the ER to pray for people, then about the happy couples we see in church who are going to marriage encounters to prepare for marriage; it was too much to hear. Brought me back to being in ER with Jim and that we were to be married this year.

Again, beautiful poem; I used to write, but have not in years. Maybe I will try it again; the ones posted on here have been so lovely and from the heart.

Thanks for sharing your personal poem with us.

Jap Jr's - Kay

sunshineme1

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2009, 06:13:50 AM »
Michelle what a good poem it explains us all doesnt it. Hugs to you.
Debbie

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2009, 08:56:58 AM »
michelle;

when I read the poem 1st time, was in a fog; didn't realize it was written by someone else; thanks for sharing.

sometimes I feel like wearing a sign that says, "yes, I have lost my Loved one, yes it hurts, yes I need to cry, yes I grieve; do you want to trade places"?

A befriender lady from the church comes out once a week to let me "talk" and she gives her insight sometimes, too; yesterday she was there and said she was worried for me, because I felt I could not drive the 8/9 hours to Chicago by myself to see my new grandson, that I was flying. I thought I was being honest and doing good, and she said she was worried I was going into a depression because I couldn't handle the drive by myself. She said she takes meds for her depression and she sees "signs" in me. It scared me. Thought I was doing OK; that I was at a "normal" stage of what I am going through; was just 3 months Saturday.

sometimes I wonder if I "talk" to let it out, to too many people? think that is possible? get so many suggestions and concerns; I know they all mean well, and I APPRECIATE they will listen, but ...  feel like I can only really get anything from those who have been there and REALLY UNDERSTAND the depth of the pain. Again, does that make sense?

didn't get much sleep last night; am just blah today; woke up with the pit in my stomach hurting alot and missing Jim so much more; I can see where sleep deprivation makes it worse; a zillion things ran through my mind as I layed in bed.

need a HUG from My Jim; need to feel his TOUCH once again; need to FEEL his arms around me; Feel so very lost and alone.

Jap Jr's - Kay



futbllwmn

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2009, 03:44:21 PM »
That is a wonderful poem... every word is so true.  Thanks for sharing.

Praying we can have a peaceful day.

Joyce

Michelle C

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2009, 07:35:48 PM »
Kay-Jap Jr's.... Here's your hug ((((Kay))))... I cant replace Jim.. but here's one for friendship!!!

Although "we" are not the author of this poem, we all understand her pain.

Everyday is the same..
Nothing changes the pain..
The void is still there...
His side is still empty...
My heart is still crying..
No day is better...
Time is healing my wounds...
Wish I could have held is hand and left with him...
Depressed and confused...
How could life just go on...
Wondering if the sun will ever shine again...
Missing his touch..
Longing for his kiss...
His sweet words in the night...
How I took that all for granted...
Oh, we will have more time...
Then time runs out...
Mad at  the world...
Mad at him at times...
Mad at myself...
Wish I could hold his face one more time...
life is unfair...
we did get the raw end of the deal...
I am upset with life...
Time is equally to blame...

I could go on and on and on...


But....
God knows when its time...
God knows when enough is enough (even when we don't want to give up)
God knows when to call his children home...
God knows when your load is getting heavy..
He doesn't make mistakes..

In ICU after the doctor explained to me that Clarence was going to pass... He asked me if Clarence would be ok... and I said YES... Clarence knows GOD.. And I just remind myself of that everyday...

Hugs and prayers out to everyone.. May we all have a better day tomorrow

Luvinmike

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2009, 08:46:02 PM »
Bless you Michelle for posting this. Terri

Jap Jr

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Re: A poem: Today by Lyndie Sorenson
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2009, 09:19:14 AM »
michelle;

thanks for the ((hug)) and the poem. Am at work and crying, just can't stop; the
hurt of missing Jim is unbearable at times; think I am doing good and then it hits again.

life is not fair; even tho I say it too, I get tired of hearing it.

God, please, just for a day, can I have my "old life" back with Jim? there was too much left unsaid, undone - we didn't know he was going to "your home" not ours that day.

Kay