MJ:
I am so sorry that you lost your wonderful husband to someone else's error. How painful that is for you. My heart goes out to you; this is the toughest journey I have ever been on.
It has been almost 8 weeks since my partner (supposed to be marred) Laurence died on Christmas Eve morning. I am still confused, heartbroken, fearful, angry, any emotion you can think of can come all at one time or all together.
I have never had blood pressure ever; it always really low, but I think the trauma of his passing and taking care of him almost all of last year took its toll. I originally went to the Dr. to get antidepressants and anxiety medication as I have been on them in the past and could feel myself sinking. But ended up with blood pressure meds, too.
Don't feel bad if you don't want to take the antidepressants. I can tell you that they don't make the feelings go away; for me they take the edge off somewhat. And, of course, who isn't depressed after the love of their life dies? I would be amazed if someone told me they weren't. That doesn't mean you have to take them. Only you would know.
As for going back to work, I don't think that is the psychiatrist's call either. That is between you and your employer and how you are feeling about it.
I work at home and I am finding it difficult after 8 weeks to function. I was good the first 4 weeks working, but after some of the shock and numbness left I have pretty much just have been trying to get my health back, resting alot, reading grief books, posting on here, trying to eat.
Again, I am so sorry for such an unexpected loss of your soulmate. There are alot of people here who are supportive and very encouraging and will understand what you are going through.
Hugs to U,
Carrie