Author Topic: How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??  (Read 3387 times)

ulxp405

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How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??
« on: February 07, 2009, 02:20:35 PM »
I am new to this site, just actually signed up. I think this site is wonderful for people who are grieving. I lost my mother to cancer on July 12, 2007 and have not been the same since. I have found it almost impossible to sustain a happy life but somehow we still go on. My mom meant everything to me and I lost her at 29 years old- I am now 30. It seems like no one really understand the imense impact this has had on my life. I somehow have been able to maintian a job but it is difficult at times. It is still hard to get out of bed some days. The main point here is that life does go on but I feel like it goes on differently for those who are left behind. I have many people in my life that care about me and am fortunate for that but they don't get it fully. Has anyone else had a difficult time maintaining healthy relationships? My life is kind of a diaster on that end. Boy oh boy some days sure can be tough...

My name is Lauren
« Last Edit: February 07, 2009, 02:30:16 PM by ulxp405 »

georgiapeaches

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Re: How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2009, 02:35:15 PM »
Hi ulx,
I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm glad you found this site. Sounds like you were very close with you mother. I just lost my mother to colon cancer in November '08. Its good that you have people around that care and there are many people on this site that are very caring and supportive. Have you seen some kind of councelor or therepist? Maybe they can give you pointers on why you having a hard time building relationships. Maybe just give you some insight. I'm sorry your having such a hard time. I dont think it matters how long it is when you are grieving, when it hurts it just hurts. Your in my prayers.

Georgia.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

tsurandy

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Re: How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2009, 04:24:06 PM »
Hi Lauren, I am sorry for your pain and the loss of your Mother.  I lost my sweet Mama this past February, I can honestly say it hasn't "gotten better", some days are worse than others.  Like you I struggle to get going each day, but I do so because I know it is what she wanted.  I will being praying for you!  Bless you!  You can and will find support here on this forum. 
Peggy's Boy

carrieset

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Re: How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2009, 09:06:40 PM »
Georgia:

I have gone back and read many posts and found yours from the beginning.  I think you are a really strong woman.  I love seeing the photos of your mom and hubby.  They are very beautiful. 

You are a strong support to so many.  Thank you!!

I hope to be as strong as you. 

Carrie

georgiapeaches

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Re: How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2009, 07:51:22 PM »
Thank you, Carrie.
MOM                        JOHNNY
 

onedayatatime

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Re: How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2009, 02:36:37 PM »
Hi Lauren --

I'm sorry for your loss....my mom was diagnosed with cancer January 13, 2007, she left for heaven on July 5th, 2007, and I still cry often.  My mom was my best friend, she put me in my place when I needed it, but was always there, all the time.  I'm 40 years old.  My mom was my first loss. 

A year and a half isn't a long time to grieve, and nobody knows the depth of anothers pain.  I have pictures of my mom all over the place, I talk to her, and sometimes I feel her hugging me.  Maybe that sounds nuts, but in actuality, it keeps me sane. 

I am married, but my husband never truly understood what I was going through.  He tried to make me feel better by saying she'll be okay, maybe it was just his wishing.  Give yourself time to grieve, all the time you need.  If you find yourself in a relationship that doesn't work, don't beat yourself up.

May God bless you, Lauren.  I'll keep you in my prayers.

Margaret

Luvinmike

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Re: How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2009, 05:08:00 AM »
Dear Lauren and Margaret; I am so sorry for the losses you have endured. The loss of a parent is very difficult. Lauren there are many here who do understand the heavy impact losing your Mom has had on your life. Please know that.
Seems the "real," world keeps going about its' business as the bereaved wonder why it doesn't stop for even a minute. I am so sorry for you both, but glad you found this site.
Be kind to yourselves as you heal and begin to look on your treasured memories with gratitude and not just the gutwrenching pain. Please remember you are not alone. Write when you can. We are all in this with you. Sincerely, Terri

sevenofwands

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Re: How am I still such a wreck after a year and a half??
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2009, 07:35:18 AM »
Hello Lauren (ulxp405):

You ask:"Has anyone else had a difficult time maintaining healthy relationships? My life is kind of a diaster on that end. "

Just wondering are you referring to family, or work, or spousal?  You say you find it impossible to sustain a happly life. 

Grief can be difficult, and can, for a whie, affect many aspects of life.

All the best
Seven