((Elaine)) My heart goest out to all of us who have suffered the absolute worst type of loss EVER but even more so those who had only one child. Not that any child is irreplaceable but the need to parent is so strong, so instinctive, to lose your one & only has to be the hardest of all. Two people that I know (Dottie from this board) and another Mom from a bereavement group I attend stand in your shoes and both of them, like you are remarkably strong women. I stand in awe of all of you, knowing how close to the end I was myself with the blessings of other children and a husband, to persevere and make a difference. Dottie is my idol, from the get-go she has doggedly gone after the authorities to make Tammie's Law happen and she has and is going further with it. My other friend is volunteering her time to help adolescents who have lost a parent. She feels that she is helping youngsters while also getting something out of it for herself, emotionally. Each and every day that you get up you are honoring your child. In time maybe you will find something to do that will make you feel you are doing this for your child and it will help? I can only speak for myself as I too am in the second year and found it to be brutal.
The passage of time reminds me of what I lost and yearn for. There is no backsie's, wish with all my heart that there was, but I am trying because as another bereaved Mom Trudi told me, each day is a day closer to being with our child and she wants him to be very proud of her.