Loss of my Best Friend - My dearest brother

[BigSis]

Hi
I lost my dearest brother 8 weeks ago on Dec 12. He was only 48 and we are 18 months apart. He was the nicest kindest brother one could have and we were very close. He had touched a lot of people and helped many of them find jobs, counsel them and help them  thru his wide network of contacts. I talked to him every week and he was a great source of strength to me. He was a diabetic since he was 24 but was exercising  and in great shape doing all the right things. He was in stage 1 of kidney failure but all his levels were being maintained as he was very good with his diet and lost more than 30 pounds.

He had a massive heart attack and was gone in about 5 minutes before he could get any help. I went for the funeral to India and spent time with my sister and brother's family. We are all so devastated and hurt. I feel it is so unfair that someone with so much to give to all and lot of potential had to go so suddenly. I had gone on a tour of holy places and prayed so hard for  his health and longevity. I feel cheated and lost that my prayers to God were not answered. I have talked to a grief counselor and she said that my feelings are completely normal. How does one ever get over such a loss. ? My mom died  3 yrs ago at age 68 but I recovered as she was not doing too well.

Found this board while searching for good articles.

[georgiapeaches]

Hi BigSis,
so sorry for your loss. everybody here on this on this site searches for the same answers. We all want to understand why our loved ones are taken away from us, but there are no answers for us right now. The only thing I can offer you is support and prayers. You brother sounds like he did amazing things with is life, I do hope you come back and tell us more about him and yourself, Thank you for sharing with us. I hope you find comfort.

Georgia.

[Luvinmike]

Dear Bigsis- So sorry about your brother. I lost my husband and his five sisters and brothers are just beginning to feel a little more capable and upbeat at eight months. My Mike was only 44 and he died suddenly. The family his, and mine have been great to me and our kids. Your brother sounds like my husband, an older lady from our town even wrote a Thank You to him in our local paper for helping her with a car problem for over two hours, he could not pass someone stuck or needing him.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know you will find support here, tell us more about your brother when you feel like it. Or how you are doing? We care. Terri

[BigSis]

Hi LuvinMike & GeorgiaPeaches

Thank you for yr kind words. We all come into this world and make these deep bonds with friends and family - brother, sister, mom, dad, children, husband. We take them for granted and one fine day they are suddenly gone. I know parents were born before us and will go before us but siblings and young people who die before their normal span, it is so incredibly hard to acccept the whole unfairness of it all.

My dear brother was a rock in my life. He was a great listener and very compassionate person. He was a great lover of dogs. I feel so bad for his wife of 20 years and children 19 and 15. I know that these departed souls will always live in our hearts but we miss their physical presence and comforting words so much. When I read these posts I completely understand the pain and deep sorrow that we are all facing.

Hope we all get thru the loss.

[Luvinmike]

Thanks for writing again. I hope you get to spend time with your brother's wife. It seems it would be good to be friends and share memories of your beloved brother as time goes by. My sister-in-law came over this morning. She brought me a coffee. We like brief visits as it is definitely not distracting from our grief, but I need it and so does she. We need to know someone else is also missing our Mike. We both love him forever. So I hope you two stay in touch. I will also pray for resilience for the kids. That is all there is to hope that they continue to grow. Your brother sounds great, so the kids will have absorbed some of that- they will be great too. Take care, terri

[BigSis]

Hi

I am feeling very sad. My dear brother would have turned 49 on April 4 next Saturday. It is going to be a very emotional day. I got an email today from a birthday reminder service reminding me about his birthday. That was like opening a dam and I cried so much.  It is so incredibly sad but we have to heal and think of the wonderful moments we had with our loved ones. My heart goes out to all who have suffered a loss of their dear ones. The first few months are the hardest and the pain never goes away.

Reading the sudden demise of Natasha Richardson made me think how sad her mother, sister , husband and 2 young boys would be and can feel their pain. I get upset when I hear some insensitive remarks by acquaintances and have to dismiss this as noise .

BigSis

[browneyedgirl]

I am so sorry to read of your loss.  I, too, lost my brother.  He died March 29, 2009. 
My thoughts and prayers are with you.