Author Topic: Practical help  (Read 46624 times)

sevenofwands

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Re: Practical help
« Reply #30 on: March 06, 2011, 01:09:22 PM »
It's a sad day when things have come to this.  The bereaved, the desolate, the desperate, NEED someone to talk to "talk therapy". 
Now it turns out talk therapy is going to be binned

Article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/06/health/policy/06doctors.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha3

sevenofwands

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The Other Side of Sadness
« Reply #31 on: February 20, 2012, 07:06:01 AM »
A book by George Bonnano

"The Other Side of Sadness"

"From Publishers Weekly . He once helped debunk the theory of repressed memory; now this Columbia clinical psychology professor takes on the conventional wisdom about grieving. There's little evidence to support the existence of stages of mourning or the corollary that if the stages aren't followed completely, there's cause for alarm. What Bonanno does find is a natural resilience that guides us through the sadness of loss, and grief, rather than distracting us, actually causes the mind to focus; it also elicits the compassion and concern that humans are hard-wired to offer in response to another's suffering. Bonanno acknowledges that grief is sometimes extreme and requires treatment, much like post-traumatic stress disorder. But with this work, science and common sense come together in a thoughtful, kindhearted way; stories of loss go far beyond striking a familiar chord—they give us hope."
"Combining personal anecdotes and original research, The Other Side of Sadness is a must-read for those going through the death of a loved one, mental health professionals, and readers interested in neuroscience and positive psychology"

The author:

About George A. Bonanno

George A. Bonanno is Professor of Clinical Psychology and Chair of the Department of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University’s Teachers College. He is a 2008 Fellow for Distinguished Contributions to Psychological Science from the Association for Psychological Science. His work has been featured in Science, the Wall Street Journal, and the Washington Post,and he has appeared on CNN and 20/20. He lives in New York City with his wife and two children.

helene

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Re: Practical help
« Reply #32 on: March 02, 2012, 09:14:30 AM »
WOW Sevenofwands!!

What a truly impressive list of books, articles, websites etc that you have given us here!! That is truly commendable! I am going to print your list and see what we might have at our local library. Thank you again for all your effort  listing these and for your very insightful comments.

Most sincerely,

Helenel


Helene & Lesley

sevenofwands

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All help is good help
« Reply #33 on: March 06, 2012, 06:34:37 AM »
Thank you, Helene, for the kind words.   I do so hope you find more peace as you write out and talk about the issues in your life.  It shows courage.

Every good wish to you for the peace and contentment you so deserve
Seven

sevenofwands

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Too soon old
« Reply #34 on: March 11, 2012, 07:36:06 AM »
Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now [Hardcover]
Gordon Livingston  M.D.
Gordon Livingston (Author)
(Author), Elizabeth Edwards

REview: "The gentle, even-keeled warmth of Livingston's prose distinguishes this slim book of 30 inspirational "truths." A psychiatrist familiar with trauma from both his practice and his life (in one 13-month period, he lost one son to leukemia and another to suicide), Livingston offers the kind of wisdom that feels simultaneously commonsensical and revelatory: "We are what we do," "The perfect is the enemy of the good," "The major advantage of illness is relief from responsibility." He intersperses counsel with personal experience, and tackles topics both joyful and deeply painful. In the chapter focusing on "We are what we do," he notes that the "three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to," and he reminds us that "love is demonstrated behaviorally"-that is, actions count more than words. In his discussion of "Happiness is the greatest risk," he considers how our fear of losing happiness is often a roadblock to our experiencing it. For those contemplating suicide, he writes that "it is reasonable to confront them with the selfishness and anger implied in any act of self-destruction." Livingston's words feel true, and his wisdom hard-earned."

sevenofwands

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Ian Rowland
« Reply #35 on: March 31, 2012, 01:21:51 PM »
A book:

The Full Facts Book of Cold Reading by Ian Rowland

From:

http://www.thecoldreadingbook.com/

sevenofwands

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Richard Carlson (died 2006)
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2012, 05:14:02 AM »
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/2693.Richard_Carlson

“One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It's not and it won't. When we make this mistake we tend to spend a lot of time wallowing and/or complaining about what's wrong with life. "It's not fair," we complain, not realizing that, perhaps, it was never intended to be.”
Richard Carlson

And a few others

Panic is a sudden desertion of us, and a going over to the enemy of our imagination.  ~Christian Nevell Bovee


Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face.  ~Nelson DeMille


As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see.  ~Julius Caesar



sevenofwands

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More books
« Reply #37 on: April 17, 2012, 12:06:17 PM »
Just putting up this link as it contains quite a few books on widowhood, grieving and so on.

http://astore.amazon.co.uk/widowie-21/278-9127984-7214921?node=1&page=3

sevenofwands

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Widowers in mind
« Reply #38 on: April 18, 2012, 05:10:51 AM »
http://www.grandtimes.com/widowers.html

An excerpt:

This is the point at which men who have developed resilience and flexibility in their lives have a distinct advantage over men who had led conventionally restrained lives.
Resilient men have already had long experience in accepting challenges and trying out new solutions to problems. After a period of grieving the death of a beloved wife, they may plunge themselves into some new and absorbing activity. Or they may devote themselves to a pursuit they have always dreamed of but couldn't indulge in while young and carrying the responsibilities of a young family.
 For a while these resilient and resourceful men may keep themselves feeling alive and vital as they go about their new enterprises. But the time soon comes when they long for the intimacies that they realize will exist for them only in a marriage or a committed relationship.
"

sevenofwands

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When Men Grieve
« Reply #39 on: April 18, 2012, 06:10:07 AM »
A book:

When Men Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help [Paperback]
by Elizabeth Levang 


Review:

"The masculine grieving style is described in eloquent, lyrical language and mirrors the experiences of many men who seek counseling and support in my bereavement groups. The author gives sound advice about how women can better understand and support men who grieve, while also honoring their own feelings. "

sevenofwands

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NAMI
« Reply #40 on: April 22, 2012, 12:57:19 PM »
http://www.nami.org/Graphics/TemplateHeader/By_Illness_Header.gif

NAMI stays focused on educating America about mental illness. NAMI is the foundation for hundreds of NAMI State Organizations, NAMI Affiliates and volunteer leaders who work in local communities across the country to raise awareness and provide essential and free education, advocacy and support group programs for people living with mental illness and their loved ones. NAMI creates change and works tirelessly to advocate for an American health care system that ensures access to treatment to those in need.

Because mental illness impacts the lives of at least one in four adults and one in 10 children--or 60 million Americans--NAMI will work every day to save every life."


sevenofwands

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Where the hell is God?
« Reply #41 on: May 20, 2012, 01:57:34 PM »
Someone mentioned this book to me today, so I thought I'd mention it here.

"Where the Hell is God?" by Fr. Richard Leonard (a Jesuit)

The author says:

"On 23 October 1988 my sister, Tracey, was involved in a freakish car accident: she dislocated the 5th cervical vertebra and fractured the 6th and 7th vertebrae. For the last 23 years she has been a quadriplegic. Tracey is one of the finest people I know, and even at the time of the accident, at 28 years of age, she had already lived in Calcutta for three years and nursed the poorest of the poor at Mother Teresa’s House of the Dying. She had returned to Australia and got a job working with the Sisters of Our Lady of Sacred Heart, running a health centre for Aboriginal people at Port Keats. It was near there that the car accident happened.

Within twelve hours of my mother finding out about Tracey’s accident, she was standing in a hospital room in Darwin asking, ‘Where the hell is God?’ "

Maybe the book will be helpful to some.

Seven



sevenofwands

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Mn and grief
« Reply #42 on: June 20, 2012, 11:12:21 AM »

sevenofwands

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Men and grief
« Reply #43 on: June 20, 2012, 11:14:50 AM »
Many men avoid grief in one of the following ways:

Silence
Secrecy
Action
Anger
Addiction
When men experience loss, they often get overlooked.  When others fail to acknowledge their losses, men tend to feel isolated, misunderstood and compelled to keep their grief a secret. We have different social expectations on men and women.

From the lin in previous post

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Practical help
« Reply #44 on: June 21, 2012, 01:29:56 PM »
Hey Seven!

Tom Golden cowrote this book "When a Man Faces Grief / A Man You Know Is Grieving" by Thomas Golden and James E. Miller

This is an exerpt from the forward:

"We want to be clear that the masculine side of healing is used by both men and women. It would be a mistake to say that all men heal in one way and all women another. This is simply not so. The truth is that we all use both sides. Women will use the masculine side in their healing just as many men will find the feminine ways helpful. It is how we blend the masculine and the feminine sides that makes us unique. As people we are too complex to be put into boxes."

More than ever, Seven men are beginning to realize that it's OK to grieve, feel deep pain and to know that it is not a sign of weakness, rather of strength. I really appreciate your posting this information, as I do all of your helpful posts.

I wrote a post earlier today ("what has helped me to understand") sharing another of Tom's books, "Swallowed by a Snake" which helped me to regain what was lost in my marriage after my surviving son died. And, I will be forever grateful for the information offered as it gave my husband and me many more years of quiet understanding and a peaceful solution to which I feared had none.

I remain so grateful for this site and the wonderful people that have walked beside me during my darkest hours.

Sending hugs & love,
Terry