Author Topic: My baby love passed away on 01/06/2009  (Read 15512 times)

Luvinmike

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Re: My baby love passed away on 01/06/2009
« Reply #30 on: February 05, 2009, 05:21:24 AM »
Dear Carrie, and michelle and the caregivers of the world. As the shock of losing their father and maturity kick in those kids may feel remorse and send thanks. Or you will see who they become as adults, not very thoughtful. I am glad in my husband's family not one thing has been about the money etc. I have seen episodes of catty materialistic nonsense in the past- it just prevents healthy grieving so much. I wish you had writen the check for more as I know, and many people here know, how much healthcare costs the caregiver when your life is viewed as a whole. First my Mother, now my Mother, sister and sister's husband take care of my severely impaired father for literally 22 years. My Mother suffers so much from the exhaustion and she works at age 70 to pay for the co-pays on the milk- crate size box of meds. he takes.
You have the right idea, be gentle and kind to yourself. Keep moving beyond the family issues as grasping never results in good things, and that is what these overgrown babies are doing, right? Stay strong and brave. Tell us how you are. Terri

Michelle C

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Re: My baby love passed away on 01/06/2009
« Reply #31 on: February 06, 2009, 09:11:54 AM »
RAY... I am crying for u..

They used the words: Will stop it from growing... Will shrink the tumor.. Will stop the blood flow.. NOTHING helped!! In the end after only 4 months... It was over!!

Was that the number one cause for your wife? The tumor itself??? b/cuz it was the gastrointestinal bleeding that claimed Clarence..

Clarence didn't have to go into the hospital (except for that day).. We were at home the entire time.. As it progressed...His pain got worse and our late nights seemed to increase... I was on vacation the last 3 weeks of his life.. (thank God) but up into then I worked.. Only good thing is I am less then 5 mins from my job and my hours are really early 430am-130pm.. Many of those days I went to work with little or no sleep...coming home at lunch time and straight home after work (not complaining I would do it over and over and over again..if I could) He used to say my baby is tough.. She's been up all night and still went to work.. He would actually be trying to rub my back.. while he was in pain.. I thought he was the tough one.. dealing with his selfish kids and trying to act strong to mine..

His son also works 5 mins from my house... U would think that he would come and check up on his dad... NO NO NO... but before Clarence was even gone.. He wanted his cell phone (at the hospital).. That is amazing to me. If someone cared for one of my parents.. I would be thankful.. even if I didnt like that person I would be respectful...I guess everyone is different... I figure they are upset b/cuz Clarence didnt want to go and live with them after he found out he was dying (and I even told him that I would understand if he wanted to be around his grandchild more)... Clarence said NO.. and the other thing that bugs me is: they keep saying his family this... his family that.. I finally had to tell him I was his family... I wanted to scream his only family!!! sorry to vent.. bad day today..

Rainman

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Re: My baby love passed away on 01/06/2009
« Reply #32 on: February 06, 2009, 04:15:59 PM »
Michelle,

I can't believe what those kids have done to us.  I know that if someone took care of my mother as well as I took care of Patty, I would be so grateful, and I would definitely let them know how appriciative I was.

Well, Patty had a number of liver issues.  She had Primary Schlorosing Cholangitis which is a hardening of the bile ducts.  Then she had the tumor (non systemic and they were going to remove it).  On her last night she went into total renal failure. 

I don't know about you, Michelle, but most of my days are "bad" days.  Just like you're missing Clarence, I miss Patty, with all of my being.  For the first time in my life I have actually thought about ending it all and being with her.  They are just thoughts, no action intended. 

Clarence sounds like such a cool guy.  I ride motorcycles also and I would liked to have ridden with you guys.

Ray

Michelle C

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Re: My baby love passed away on 01/06/2009
« Reply #33 on: February 06, 2009, 09:54:17 PM »
I can understand what youre going through...

Did Patty ride with you?? Clarence loved it so much that he finally talked me into riding with him... I am so happy that I did. We had so much fun together on that bike... I am sure that he would have loved to talk to you about bikes... I wish u could have met him...And believe me if you would have asked us to come and visit... We would have been there..lol
We had two trips planned for this year... time stole that away from us..
Was thinking that maybe I will learn how to ride.. not sure yet. I trusted him to drive me around...

Sad day today... one month ago he left us...I want him back.




Rainman

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Re: My baby love passed away on 01/06/2009
« Reply #34 on: February 07, 2009, 05:50:27 PM »
Hi Michelle,

I tried to get Patty to ride with me, but she wouldn't.  Too scared, especially in L.A. where we lived.

I like the new pictures of Clarence that you posted, good looking guy.

Talk about nasty kids, check this out.  I found out through Patty's sister that there is a Mass for Patty tonight and nobody invited me.  I am hurt, horrified, mystified, conflicted, you name it....when will they stop hurting me? 

Michelle, I know that Valentines Day is going to really suck for you and I and the rest of our friends on this site.  Patty and I used to always do something special for each other.  I am absolutely dreading for Feb 14th to arrive.  Luckily, I work that day which will occupy my time, somewhat.

I will  pray for you, Clarence, me and Patty.  I can't wait to talk with you a couple of years from now when, hopefully, some of this damn pain will have subsided.

Ray


Michelle C

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Re: My baby love passed away on 01/06/2009
« Reply #35 on: February 07, 2009, 10:13:02 PM »
I dont blame patty for being scared...lol I was scared out here in Sacramento so I can imagine out there.... But I did it and I loved it...

Thank you... I thought he was pretty good looking too :) Do put some pictures of patty up.. i would love to see your sunshine

Valentines Day :-X will not be mentioned around my house this year... One of my good friends lost her husband to kidney cancer 2 years ago... I think we are going to go to the movies or something together that day... I too have to work that day... But we both know, going to work doesnt help much... The loss is still there...

I too pray for all of us... I have never felt this type of pain before.. it NEVER goes away...

yes..we must keep in contact.. the next few years will be rough (and different)  but like u said hopefully we will be at peace with it all...