Apaez, I am so sorry for your pain. Take it slow, put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. I am so sorry, but there is no real answer to when it will get better. Our grief comes and stays but sometimes we get short reprieves. That is how I see it now. Welcome to the forum, but I am so very sorry you have to be here, death has affected each life of the posters and here you will find support, you will not be judged. What I say is post when you feel like it, read what others experience and how they deal with it. There is not a miracle that will make things better. I will pray for you and your family. Hug your mother and family, and do it often!