Author Topic: Getting married...but miss my son  (Read 9635 times)

CRCmom

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Re: Getting married...but miss my son
« Reply #15 on: December 16, 2006, 05:27:35 PM »
All the happiness you possibly feel now I hope comes your way.  You deserve to be happy and that is EXACTLY where Adam wants you to be!!!  I will be thinking of you all tomorrow with a smile.

LOVE AND GRACE ON THE JOURNEY,
PAULA


Joanie -----> Adam's Mom

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Re: Getting married...but miss my son
« Reply #16 on: December 16, 2006, 11:10:35 PM »
I want to thank you all for your support and love here.  It is late (after midnight of my wedding day right now)  I am thinking of Adam and how excited he would have been.  Trying not to get down, but thinking of him watching over me now and maybe being there on the beach.  This is so bittersweet, it stinks!  I am happy, not really happy as in ready to shout frome the mountaintops, but happy in feeling that I am doing what I really want finally with the man who loves me and who has stood by my side and been so kind and loving to both me and to my son.  He is the one who planned the entire funeral and kept me alive when I thought I was not going to make it, so I am happy...but there is an ache in my heart and I wish I could block it out just for 24 hours...just for our wedding day.  I guess I'll never be able to do it and also, if I were waiting for no ache to get married it will never happen as I know that it is going to hurt forever!  So, now feels like the right time, ache in my heart and all.  I have one foot in Adam's world, but my other foot is in this world, right here and I need my life partner to help me get through.  He also needs me, so this is it.  I'm getting married, carrying on what we had planned to do years ago before cancer stole my baby boy so young!  If there is a time I need a partner it is now that Adam is gone.  I was fine as a single mom and actually, I was afraid to marry before because I hated the thought of my special relationship with Adam being changed by having to share my heart with a husband and Adam.  It's something how it all has changed now and there is no one else to share anything with anymore.  Am I making sense?  For years after my divorce from Adam's father it was just the two of us, then I did have a long relationship with Wally, but Adam always came first then and we lived in separate homes until the night Adam died.  sorry for rambling again.

Would it be morbid to go to the cemetary after the ceremony?  I really feel like going there with Wally afterwards.  It's actually only about 10 minutes away from the beach we will be at. 
« Last Edit: December 16, 2006, 11:18:57 PM by Joanie -----> Adam's Mom »


         Adam:  6/21/94 - 12/2/05
  ~~~Forever 11 years young in heaven~~~
                 I miss you, Pal

starynyte

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Re: Getting married...but miss my son
« Reply #17 on: December 17, 2006, 03:44:45 AM »
Joanie,

It wouldn't be morbid at all, it's what your heart is telling you to do, follow it.

I understand about your split emotions, it is so hard to accept that we can feel both at the same time. Please know it's ok to be happy, you have every reason in the world to be!  :) Wally sounds like the true love of your life, and you are sooo lucky to have him in your life. Being happy on your wedding day doesn't mean you forget Adam, or don't still feel the pain of loosing him, he's going to be right there with you and Wally today as you say your vowes. I'm sure he will be jumping for joy! Look to the clouds, choose one and picture it as his trampoline, and know that he is SO SO happy for you today.

May your day be filled with so much peace and joy.

Love Cherri

Lori, Alex's Mom

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Re: Getting married...but miss my son
« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2006, 02:49:21 PM »
Congratulations!  Adam is with you smiling upon you.

Peace always,

Alex's mom

MARTHA(CANDI'S AUNT)

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Re: Getting married...but miss my son
« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2006, 03:44:35 PM »
joanie,
 i think it's wonderful that you're getting married & i hope you are able to feel adams present on the beach. he's an adorable little boy. when i see the smaller children's picture's here on the board i try to think of candi holding them for everyone.
candi was 23 when she was killed on may 13,2005. she was a nurse. married & had a son( josh-9 now). candi was a brave person & never let thing's get her down. josh turned 9 dec 3rd. & at his b-day party he laughed & showed off & i know candi left that bravery in josh.
he talks about his mom but is so brave. charles(candi's husband) had dated a girl about 4 mo. after candi was killed. i was devastated. but our family was really nice to her. thing's didn't work out & charles ended that relationship a few mo. later.
i think he just needed someone at the time. charles tells my sis(lisa-candi's mom) that he doesn't have time to date. he works & takes care of josh.

i've been thinking so hard lately. candi's been gone 19 mo. now. & i know deep in my heart she would want charles to be happy. i want to tell him that but i'm afraid of how to say it. i know it's none of my business if he finds  someone or not. i want him to be happy again. no-one can repace candi but he deserve's happiness.
 congratulations on your marriage.

martha