Well sharpie, sometimes even I dont understand women.
But it sounds like you were able to tell her how you feel, which is an excellent thing. I loved how you stood up for yourself and told her that you would not be the fall guy anymore, there for her when she is bored.
From a girls perspective, she sounds tired of dating only one guy. Maybe bored with her life, not necessarily with you, but just bored or tired or wanting to jazz things up a bit. Why she is dating some 24 y/o who still lives with mommy is beyond my understanding. If shes not careful, shes going to end up losing a good guy over some unmotivated home boy. craziness.
You can't go back to a "not dating" status so what she is asking is the impossible. Every time you are with her, you two will fall into the same comfortable patterns of behaving/dating. In order for it to become "just friends" a whole lot of time is gonna have to pass , no contact time, like I'm talking at least a year. You two aren't there yet, not even close, so dont expect to "not date" when you are with her. Either you date or you don't date. And she needs to understand that. Don't set youself up to be yelled at every time you go over to her place to hang out.
Its Sat night and she is bored and lonely b/c her new dude doesnt have a car or money to come visit her. So she calls you up to bring over a movie. You do it, hang out, pop some popcorn, and as the hours roll by, you two will start sitting closer and closer together. Kisses, hugs, and snuggling occur, then new guy txt, or calls and you leave. Then you get yelled at in a txt for not repecting her wishes to NOT MAKE IT A DATE.
Again, it is impossible for you two not to date when you are alone. Personally, as hard as this is, I would stop seeing her all together, and have no contact with her at all. You two need time away from each other.
And then, if you want to try "friendship status" then only be with her in a crowd or group of friends, and only meet in public places. Never ever alone. Because it will always go back to "dating status" when the two of you meet alone, at her place, snuggled up with a movie, and cozy dinner. ALWAYS. take it from someone whos dating days have been long over (thank God).
The bottem line though... she wants to date other guys and will dump you when she finds someone new who will give her positive attention. New is exciting. At least at first. Even a new slug who still lives with mommy. But she will get tired of him being unavailable and will look for someone else.
I hate to tell you this but the next new guy who comes along with a car and treats her decently and wants to go out with her, she will do it. And she probably will dump you, after she has dated this guy awhile and feels secure in that he is "nice enough". But the first time they have a fight she will run back to you and be confused and want to work things out with you. And then two things will happen. Either she will have figured out that you are the one for her. Or she will keep you until the next new guy comes along.
You are 'safe", you are "familiar" , you are "comfortable", so it will always be easy for her to run back to you for comfort and stability when bad things happen or when major changes occur in her life (fights with new boyfriend, failed a test, pissed off at a girl friend of sister of hers, family drama, etc etc.) . Do you want to be that guy she only runs to when she needs comforting or cant find someone better to run to?
When you decide that you are not dating her or hanging on the line for her, and
she keeps running to you for comfort when a guy breaks up with her or drama
happens, and if you are always available to her, you are then giving her
permission to use you and run to you over and over again. And you are keeping her from growing up and learning how to rely on herself and communicate with her new guy when conflict arises.
If this happens, you need to tell her that she needs to work it out with him or with who ever she is angry at. Dont get in the middle of it, b/c thats when guy fights start happening. STAY the Heck out of it!!
It will also force her to grow up stop depending on you so much. YOU are not her EMS or 911 call while she goes out and plays the field!! Dont let yourself be.
Eventually you will date others too and trust me some new chick is not gonna put up with you getting calls or txt from some ex damsel in distress. You've got to start thinking of yourself and also down the line your new relationships and having respect for the other girls you start to date, when that day comes.
Lastly, please understand, Its not because you are lacking in anything that she wants to date others. Again, its because she is bored with her life and needs a little drama. Some people do. Some people create these dramatic messes in their life, just to make themselves feel alive and emotional. Man, I like my peace. But it happens all the time.
So please dont feel like you are not "good enough" "hot enough" "smart enough" have enough money, or whatever it is you are telling yourself when you are depressed. Its not about you. Its about a young girl not knowing what she wants.. all she knows is thats he is bored and wants something exciting. Sounds like she needs to go on a vacation, not break your heart!
good luck sharpie, you got yerself a young one there ole boy
lauren