Its been a little over 3 weeks since my sister died. Luckily I got to spend that last day with her. I go to college about an hour and a half away so I only got to see her on random weekends when I would come up. I still dont believe that she is gone. She was 2 years younger than me. Most people think they are invinsible...not me I was always cautious. But my sister, she was young, niave, and I had it in my mind that she was invinsible. Its hard being here at school because nobody knows what to say or do so they just act like Im not hurting. Like everything will be okay if they just ignore it.
I got together all of the pictures of us I could find, and what I found was that there werent enough of them. There were a lot more from when we were little. Now I take pictures with all my friends/family whenever they ask because a picture really can say a thousand words.
Its hard though, I dont feel like it will ever get easy. Ive dealt with pain in my heart before, but never anything like this. I lost my other half, I lost my rival and bestfriend, I lost my baby sister and its not fair. & now I truely know that money cannot buy happiness because I will never have her back.
I feel so many emotions, mad, sad, frustrated, silent, at peace, at war, lost, numb....& I am sad that there are this many people going through the same thing. My heart goes out to you people. & there arent any words I can say to tell you its going to be okay, or that its going to get better. But the thing that helps me is being with people who know me or know what Im going through. Dont try to shut yourself out, try to laugh in their memory even if right after you cry.
We can sit here in silence and feel for each other and find strength out of assimilation.
bless you all